Tag Archives: Sex Positive

How To Destroy The Patriarchy: Muslim feminist author and radical, Mona Eltahawy, on AEWCH 50, the best episode of AEWCH ever!

4 Dec

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(Note: AEWCH is and will continue to be free as a podcast going forward, but AEWCH 50 is the LAST episode available publicly on YouTube. If you want YouTube versions of the show, go to patreon.com/connerhabib and sign up at any level; you’ll get instant access!)

Friends,

On my favorite episode of AEWCH so far, I speak with feminist author and radical, Mona Eltahawy. Mona is the author of Headscarves and Hymens: Why The Middle East Needs A Sexual Revolution, a book which has shaken the Arab world, feminist discourse, and also, on a personal note, has changed my inner life. Mona articulates what patriarchy is — and why it is our urgent task to resist it — better than anyone I’ve ever read or spoken to. Even if you have some resistance to the term (*ahem* hello, bros), Mona will help you see why this framing is so important. .

Mona and I talk about:

  • our sexual assaults and how we recovered and transmuted them into action
  • what patriarchy is, exactly, and how it enables and protects power
  • why enthusiastic consent is a problem (and how our consent is violated every day)
  • the urgent and political task of pleasure
  • why masculinity is a desire and the Brett Kavanaugh meltdown, where white male rage comes from
  • the way white people (particularly white women) pathologize Muslims (particularly Muslim women) without confronting their own issues
  • what we can learn about consent from porn performers
  • why sex isn’t and is special and why a sexual revolution is so important
  • the “trifecta of patriarchy and misogyny”
  • why we need to reject monogamy as a default relationship structure
  • why we don’t have to say “everything is political” to fight bullshit
  • how patriarchy hurts men too

I am so excited and proud to share this episode with you.

Click here for SHOW NOTES, which are free and available to everyone.

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The End Of Privacy (And How To Make It A Good Thing) on AEWCH 41!

11 Sep
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Keeping with my promise to do some sex & sexuality-themed episodes, this time I’m talking about privacy and secrecy, how “invasion of privacy” is another name for “extraction of labor,” why we need to smash out cognitive dissonance around those concepts, how old notions of privacy have been seized by corporations, why we think of corporations as people, social media, and what happens if we smash the old version of privacy and move into a notion of being more public.
Show notes are now available for everyone, and you can find them here.
CR

My old trainer, Craig Reynolds.

The One With The Bleeding (Adult Star Missy Martinez on AEWCH!)

13 Aug

 

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Happy to have another performer on the show for the first time: the amazing Missy Martinez! We talk shop, of course. We also talk about being in relationships while making scenes, what words we prefer for our nethers, eroticizing jealousy, the technicalities of intergenerational and family scenes, on how producers waste performers’ time, what it’s like to be on set, how adult can help you let go of racism, feeling fat. If I talked too much, it’s just because I was over caffeinated and Missy makes me gay boy nervous because she is INCREDIBLE. 

You can and should follow Missy on twitter: @MissyXMartinez

Show notes, as always, are available to patrons who support the show.

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Are Bodies Our Selves?

3 Jul

 

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Hi friends,

In this episode, I talk about how desire and sex challenge materialistic narratives. And to get to the bottom of it, I take apart scientific studies of sex, investigate sexual assault, discuss the mysticism of having a wank, and explore boobs and feet.

XO
CH

They saaaaaay…Scott Thompson is on Against Everyone with Conner Habib! (And they’re right!)

12 Jun
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Friends,
This is a huge moment for dear Habib: I got to do an episode of Against Everyone with Conner Habib with someone who changed my life: Scott Thompson! Scott, in the event that somehow you don’t know this, is a member of the iconic comedy group Kids in the Hall, author, actor (from Hannibal),stand-up comedian, and creator of the lispy sexual rebel Buddy Cole.
Seeing Scott as Buddy on The Kids in the Hall blew my young still-becoming-gay mind. I was a lonely small town kid with no one to talk to about sex or sexuality, and then there was this crazy dangerous lisping whore on TV making jokes about everything. I was electrified.
Scott and I had a great conversation, and I couldn’t stop laughing. We talk about our alter egos being our better selves, how internalized homophobia follows you around even when you come out, AIDS-era intensities, how representation fails us, ghosts, the elimination of spirituality from the left, portals to other dimensions, raccoon spirit guides,
(Note: There’s a little jumping around in the video editing to deal with technical stuff, but it doesn’t affect the audio or the conversation.)
(Oh and one more note if you want more on the alt-right and new age stuff: here’s an article by Mitch Horowitz on Salon.com)
Thanks for listening and watching!
STSmile

Conner + Dr. Chris Donaghue talking sex and culture

13 Oct
Welcome to Episode 10 of Against Everyone with Conner Habib
I can’t believe I’ve gotten this far without talking at length about sex yet. Well, that changed, of course, when I invited one of my closet colleagues over: sexologist, author, and co-host (with Amber Rose) of Loveline, Dr. Chris Donaghue!
Chris is one of my closest colleagues (as in, we share the same approaches to thinking about sex), and he’s constantly reinvigorating my interest in a subject that I’ve been studying and working with for over a decade.
IN THIS EP
  • When you talk about sex, you’re condemned by pop culture and bureaucracy (this goes on for quite awhile, because there’s example after example): 2:25
  • This condemnation is happening for everyone, it just rises to the surface when you enter the public sphere 9:55
  • Hypersexualization meets sexphobia to create a frustration culture: 10:30
  • Sex shame in the self help section: 13:55
  • Your own sexual liberation is a lifelong project 15:45
  • The surprising places sex negativity springs up 16:35
  • New age fundamentalism masquerading as healthy sexuality 18:20
  • Dismantling “balance” and going for excess to be healthy and fully realized: 19:45
  • “Balance” is just another name for monogamy: 21:35
  • Sex IS the teacher: 23:00
  • To learn about sex, seek some discomfort: 28:45
  • How monogamous partners often police and trap each other: 30:50
  • Wittgenstein explains pornography 33:55
  • My favorite adult scene to watch: 38:30
  • Why bisexuality does and does not exist: 40:10
  • Are new terms for sexual identity politics valuable?: 43:10
  • Conner feels fat, and that makes him a top: 47:55
  • Individuality vs Individualism: 1:01:10

The show notes, including three books Chris recommends, are here on my patreon!

If you enjoy the show, please do support it!
Thank you!

CH

Conner Habib’s NEW WEB SERIES and PATREON!

23 May

Sex IslandDear everyone,

After years of writing essays, comic books, and stories; making adult scenes; doing activism for sex workers; and talking about the occult and sex around the world; I’m unveiling my very own Patreon and accompanying web series: AGAINST EVERYONE with CONNER HABIB!

My life project is to make the world a better place for being fully human, so that we don’t have to constantly hide parts of ourselves and our interests away. We should be able to be sexual and spiritual, into the sciences and the humanities, into the occult and philosophy. And we should be able to be our full, integrated selves without compartmentalizing everything.
That’s where you, my Patreon, and my new web series, Against Everyone with Conner Habib, come in. Together, we can co-create a culture that’s easier to be a rebel, a punk, a slut, a witch, and an interdisciplinary weirdo in.
Against Everyone with Conner Habib is a web series starting in June that features me giving talks on a wide range of profound, weird, and fringe topics, ranging from the history of the adult industry to the occult secrets of technology; from the mystical, political nature of time and space to the bacterial origins of sex.
It also features me in conversation with some of the leading thinkers and creators of our time. For a list of upcoming topics and guests, visit my Patreon page.
My Patreon supports all my projects, including the series. Sign up now at any level (access starts at just one dollar per month!) and you get all sorts of amazing stuff:
  • Downloadable audio of the series
  • Membership in the Conner Habib Book Club
  • Skype sessions (one-on-one) with me
  • Extra episodes
  • Personalized video postcards sent to your inbox each month
  • Exclusive peaks at projects I’m working on
and lots more!
This is a HUGE step forward for me, and your participation is literally life-changing, and our community will be culture-changing.
Watch the intro video by clicking my face up there, by clicking here, or by watching below. And if you sign up by June 1, you’ll get a personalized thank you photo from me!
So!
Let’s create a new culture. Let’s hang out. Let’s talk about things we care about. Let’s be ourselves. Let’s do everything we’ve ever cared about, all at once.Thanks for all your support and love, my friends,
Conner Habib