So I’ve Been Publicly Shamed. Hurray!

2 Jun

Screen Shot 2015-06-01 at 3.23.37 PM



A lot of great stuff happening lately.  First, I want to give a shout out to my shout out in bestselling author Jon Ronson‘s new (and excellent) book, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed.  It’s about the rise of shaming culture on the internet, and its repercussions.  The book is funny and poignant, and having been a huge Jon Ronson fan since his first book, Them: Adventures with Extremists, I’m thrilled to be included in it.

Hilariously (perfectly) enough, Jon Ronson mentions my asshole.  And then Jon Stewart praised the book as “wonderful.”  So I’m just going to go out on a limb and pretend that that somehow means that I was on the Daily Show.  Or, um, my asshole was, anyway.

Screen Shot 2015-04-06 at 4.12.31 PM


Me with Brad Kalvo, David Anthony, Dirk Caber, and a funny porny mustache.  From After the Heist

Me with Brad Kalvo, David Anthony, Dirk Caber, and a funny porny mustache. From After the Heist

I’m featured in two new Buzzfeed Video videos: “Men Watch Porn with Porn Stars” and “Women Watch Porn with Porn Stars.”  Basically, I watch one of my scenes — from Joe Gage’s & Ray Dragon’s excellent and bestselling porn, After the Heist (link NSFW) with Buzzfeed staffers.  So they’re just sitting there watching me, you know, have lots and lots of sex.  It was a hilarious and fun experience.  In the “Women…” version, I hang out with my friend, comedian Gaby Dunn.  Always a pleasure to have your friends watch you get a facial (?)  In the “Men…” version, I watch with a very handsome straight guy named Dan De Lorenzo.  He was sweating, curious, and funny.  I have to admit the experience was arousing for me.  And maybe for him, too.  “There’s a lot of tension between us,” he said afterward, “and not in a bad way!”

Looking at my buttcrack while Gaby Dunn cracks a joke.

Looking at my buttcrack while Gaby Dunn cracks a joke.


I appeared  on the Grimerica podcast with Skeptiko host and author of Why Science Is Wrong about Almost Everything Alex Tsakiris.  Along with weirdness/occult writer Red Pill Junkie and hosts Graham and Darren, we cover a lot of ground: Psychoanalysis, what to do about climate change, virtual reality models of the universe, how to fight conspiracies, and more.  These sorts of boundary-less conversations often have a Burning-Man-meets-The-Matrix thing going on, of course.  But they also have the more serious function of pushing me (and hopefully listeners!) into a creative and speculative way of thinking.  The alternating currents of playful and thoughtful do something interesting when they collide.  So listen and take it very seriously and also don’t take it seriously at all.


After over a year hiatus, I finally have some new adult work coming out.  It’s a sequel (yes, a real SEQUEL sequel) to Dad Goes to College, one of my most popular films.  I wrote about taking a break –and how porn performers can gracefully take a break or leave the industry — earlier this year.  It took legendary porn and Z-List science fiction director Joe Gage to coax me out of my donut-eating bliss.  The conversation went something like this:

Getting stared down by my

Getting stared down by my “dad,” Allen Silver in Dad Goes to College.

Joe: Hey Conner, I want you to reprise your role as Kyle in a sequel to Dad Goes to College.  It’s called Dad Out West.

Me: That sounds great, but I’ve been off for a year and a half.  I weigh 185 lbs. I have a different body now.  Not sure if I’m right for it.

Joe: Send me pictures, let’s take a look.

Me: *sends pictures*

Joe: You’re perfect!  Have you ever seen Boyhood?  It’ll be just like that!

Me:  Okay, sign me up. Just don’t make me stop eating donuts.

To watch a very NSFW teaser of Dad Out West, click here.  If you want to download the movie, stream it, or buy a DVD, click here (NSFW and also: it’s not up just yet but WILL be available later this month).



Quite a bit of stuff coming out soon.  Including

my horror comic with Amit Elan,

an essay, “The Name of Your First Pet and the Street You Grew Up On,” in the anthology Coming out Like a Porn Star

an interview in the academic journal Porn Studies

a collection of conversations with sex therapist and radical thinker Dr. Chris Donaghue

an essay about the connections between anti-sex work/anti-porn bigotry and other forms of hate speech

and more (phew!)

As always, if you want to hire me to speak to your college or organization about pornography, sex, and culture, you should!  Click here for more info/to hire me.

Okay, phew, that’s it for now.  Thanks for stopping by.  Love!

8 Responses to “So I’ve Been Publicly Shamed. Hurray!”

  1. Casey Scott June 2, 2015 at 3:12 am #

    Yeah, please don’t stop eating donuts because (and I didn’t think this was possible) you’ve become even HOTTER post-donuts. Now the new Joe Gage video can’t arrive fast enough!

  2. Michael June 4, 2015 at 3:17 pm #

    I love the way you look now. I agree that you’re so much hotter.

  3. Robert David Sullivan June 7, 2015 at 11:29 pm #

    The Buzzfeed video is funny but would have been funnier if they’d let you say more than a few words at a time. And why did they cut away before you got a chance to answer “Are you enjoying this?” I’m glad your videos aren’t edited like this!

  4. Kenneth June 11, 2015 at 2:22 am #

    I adore you and you bring me a lot of joy. I love your face, that body, your voice and that laugh. You bring an honesty and genuineness into everything that you do. Please know that it is much appreciated.

  5. Gary January 2, 2016 at 2:49 pm #

    I actually came across Dad Out West this past week and saw that you were in it. I’ve watched only bits of it so far but thought, “He has a different body now, and he looks great.” Thanks to you and Joe Gage for representing good-looking guys who don’t have to be gym bunnies but can look like, well, pretty much all the regular guys out there. And thanks for your honest, down-to-earth, transparent, sex-positive, spiritual, overall nice-guy self that you share in your sex and non-sex videos, writing, and online presence.

  6. Gary January 2, 2016 at 3:34 pm #

    I just want to let you know how much I appreciate your openness and transparency with regard to the intersection of your adult film work and other areas of your professional life. I’ve been a fan of your adult film work, and I’ve come across your blog a few times, as well as miscellaneous other posts/articles, online videos you’ve done. When I watched Dad Out West and saw you in it, I recall thinking, “He has a different body now. He still looks great.” Thanks to you and Joe Gage for representing in gay porn all the rest of us non-hardcore-gym-bodies in a sex-positive, body-positive way, as well as trying to offer society a sex-positive outlook on porn, in general. Thanks for being an all-around inspiring guy.


  1. 2015: The Best Stuff | Connerhabib's Blog - January 3, 2016

    […] Donaghue’s Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture. I make small appearances in both. The former is a book on the reemergence (and pitfalls) of shame as a social strategy. It is funny, […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: