Tag Archives: updates

Update: What Do Dan Savage, Peter Rollins, the CBC, & A Flying Golden Penis Have In Common? Me!

5 Dec

Lots going on in my funny version of the world.

HONOR/AWARD

First, I won a Sexual Freedom Award! Hurray! The Sexual Freedom Awards in the UK have been running for over twenty years now, honoring people who are working for progressive sexual values and pushing on our culture’s fundamentalist sexual boundaries.

I was honored with the Best Publicist Award – “publicist” because the Best Writer categorysfa has been absorbed into this one, but it’s largely an award for writers. Past winners include Frankie Mullin, Brooke Magnanti (of Secret Diary of a Call Girl fame), and Carol Queen. Whoa!

It’s a huge honor, and the golden flying penis statue is probably the most, um, functional trophy I’ve ever received. *ahem*

***

MEDIA APPEARANCES

hmwds

DAN SAVAGE

First, I’m on Dan Savage’s new Audible.com radio show, Hot Mic! Here’s the gist: Audible started doing something called Audible channels, which features podcast-style web shows that you can subscribe to. Dan asked me on to discuss sex work, porn, LGBT issues, and more. So there you have it!

Click here or on Dan’s mug to listen.

 

screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-11-34-07-amPETER ROLLINS

You may or may not know that for some of 2015 and most of 2016, I lived with my friend, the philosopher and theologian, Peter Rollins. Before I met Peter, I was a huge admirer of his work after having read his amazing book of zen-like parables, The Orthodox Heretic. In fact, I was a big blabbermouth supporter, as follower of mine on twitter who pulled up this 2013 tweet (which apparently no one cared about at the time haha) recently to remind me. Anyway, a few years later I met Peter, we were fast friends, and he was moving in to my apartment for a year. We had lots of deep (sometimes contentious!) philosophy talks while we lived together but never did any sort of public event. So on the day before he moved out, we recorded a short conversation about spirituality, faith, marginalized identities, and psychoanalysis, which you can watch below!

CBC’s OUT IN THE OPEN 

I appeared on The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s show, Out in The Open, hosted by the excellent Piya Chattopadhyay! Totally mehonored, because my favorite podcast, Writers & Company (hosted by the forever amazing Eleanor Wachtel) is on the CBC. But also, it’s kind of great that I was on a government-sponsored channel talking about having sex in bathrooms. The producer reached out to me after having read my essay about sex at rest areas on Salon.com a few years ago. Anyway, it’s me, discussing where sexual tensions come from, why men have sex in bathrooms, and why that’s not going away any time soon.

I say stuff like, “If there’s a place where men are going to stand next to each other with their genitals exposed, there’s going to be sex happening there at some point or another.” Well. Yeah. They erroneously label me as a “former” adult star (I’ve got a movie coming out soon!), but that aside, it’s a fun show. Click here to listen to my segment!

WHAT ELSE?

I’ve got a few things up my sleeve before the year ends! A huge Christmas/New Year sale on my writing coaching services, a one session pop-up class, my annual year-end round up, and info on my upcoming projects!

Write Better

12 Nov

wbWRITING COACHING

Hello, writers and writer-to-be! I’ve been a writing teacher for almost fifteen years now; helping writers meet their goals, improve their voices, and create sustainable writing practices. Since 2007, I’ve been offering one-on-one writing coach services, and I kept hearing from people that they wanted concentrated courses, editing services, and more. So I decided to up my game as a teacher and re-created my entire practice.

Now you can hire me by signing up for my writing coach packages:

Writing Life: From Page to Publication in Six Weeks for Your Personal Essay and Nonfiction Article

and

8 Weeks To Becoming A (Better) Writer

You can also hire me for a Writer’s AssessmentCritical Editing, and a service that includes everything, One-on-one Writing CoachingI’m also an experienced script doctor and offer Script Elevation services on select-client basis.

For more info on any of these packages or services, click here.

About Me

I’m a prolific and widely-published author and have over a decade experience as a writing teacher. I’ve helped clients get their work published in nationally-recognized publications, prepare scripts for production on stage, make money off their work, polish their screenplays, create regularly updated and respected blogs, kickstart their writing careers, and more!

My writing appears and is featured in/on:  The Stranger, Vice, Salon, Slate, The Advocate, The Rumpus, Headmaster Magazine and more.  I’m a member of PEN American and my work has been anthologized many times, including in Best Sex Writing 2013 (Cleis Press), Best Gay Stories 2012 (Lethe Press), and more. I was awarded the Distinguished Teaching Award as a writing professor at the University of Massachusetts, and the Harvey Swados Prize in fiction writing. I’m an internationally recognized public figure who has given dozens of talks at universities and organizations, from Amherst College to the Museum of Modern Art in New York, from the Rudolf Steiner Social Finance organization to University of Green Bay Wisconsin.

I’m also a nice guy with a wealth of knowledge backing up my practice, and we’ll have a comfortable and fun experience. I’ll read your work and challenge you in constructive ways without hurting your feelings or sugarcoating anything. You’ll feel encouraged and excited to write more.

Please contact me to get started or with any questions you have at connerwrites at gmail dot com.

New Course! Banishing the World: Postmodern Philosophy & the Occult + Updates!

23 Sep
Gayternity

Me & Eternity

I’m teaching a new online course called BANISHING THE WORLD: POSTMODERN PHILOSOPHY & THE OCCULT. One session, 2 hours, live, online, with a Q&A at the end.  It’s only 15.00 for a standard ticket. And it’s going to be awesome.

I’ve been studying both postmodern philosophy and the occult for decades now, and you know? They’re not easy! They’re difficult to read and understand, even as you sense the deep value in them.

But put them together and, whoa, alchemical reaction. Gold.

Below is the course description; click through to the Eventbrite page to sign up! (Oh, and, if you sign up for a Gold ticket, you get an occult-meets-postmodern t-shirt designed by me and customized to your size!)

Below that are a bunch of podcasts I’ve been on, interviews I’ve given (including one super in-depth interview with a literary magazine). Busy fella; thanks for hanging out with me!

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aBANISHING THE WORLD: POSTMODERN PHILOSOPHY & THE OCCULT

Like the two snakes that twine around Hermes’s staff, the occult and postmodern philosophy embrace the same deep revelation:

The world is not as it seems.

But while the occult has been pushed out of serious academic study, postmodern philosophy remains much-discussed and influential. Of course, philosophy’s roots are in the occult: initiates in classical cultures discussing the meanings and substances of the universe. Then, as religion rose to new heights of power, philosophy rebelled against the magical, supernatural, and mystical. Now, after the distractions of the modern era, philosophers – as much as they may deny it – have once again found themselves at the altar with the occultists, the witches, and the mystics.

The postmodern philosophers are in many ways the mystics and maguses of our time. They speak in strange languages, presenting uncanny riddles, and exiling the old world by revealing the new. They’re renaming the gods, influencing cultures, changing medicine and science, and more.

With writer, radical thinker, and activist Conner Habib you’ll explore:

jl– How the theories of postmodern thinkers like Gilles Deleuze, Felix Guattari, Jacques Lacan, Bruno Latour, Donna Harraway, Michael Taussig, Michel Serres, and more, overlap with occult ideologies and practices.

– Why it’s all so complicated, anyway, and how using the occult to approach postmodern philosophy and vice versa can make both easier to understand.

– How to use both occult and postmodern ideas to reenvision the world you live in.

– How occult ideas have found their way into academia, science, and activism through the conduit of postmodernism.

dhConner will guide you through the complex ideas of the occult and postmodern philosophy in plain, easy-to-understand language in this live, online course. It’s for the beginner and the adept alike.

The one-session one-hour lecture will be followed by a Q&A, so you’ll be part of the mind-expanding discussion.

If you can’t attend the day of, or if you want to watch the lecture again, you’ll have exclusive access to a recording of the course for 90 days. SIGN UP HERE!

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UPDATES

PODCASTS! 

dtI’ve returned to the great, mystical, dangerous, raspy clutches of The Duncan Trussell Family Hour! It’s my fourth appearance on the comedy-meets-sprituality-meets-tech-craziness podcast. I seriously love doing Duncan’s podcast. We go deep, and Duncan is one of the best conversationalists out there. Also, we invoke the god Pan together at the end. So, um, there’s that.

I also kicked it with sex positive power generator Dawn Serra on the Sex Gets Real podcast. We go deep there. I diss feminism. But in a non-diss feminism-is-also-good way. And I talk about why consent is a bit of a Trojan Horse when it comes to sexual ethics.

saI was on writer/comedian/adult film witch priestess Sovereign Syre’s podcast, Observations. We talk about being (and not being) nice to other people, identity politics, and more. It’s a good one. Her podcast in general is pretty great. Listen to it.

The guys at Bateworld – a solo-sexual website (look it up, folks) – created a playlist inspired by me, which is kind of awesome. So if you need music to listen to while you’re, *ahem*, thinking fondly of me, it’s there. The site is not SFW, so if you have a horrible job that thinks looking at parts of the human body is wicked, don’t go there at work. Wait till you get home and you can blast it out. The music, I mean.

PRINT! I was featured in the rebel lit magazine, The Matador Review. It’s a good interview, and I’m proud of it. I like that I got to compare making porn to what César Aira must feel when he writes his novels.

Here’s an excerpt:  “…style is a mood. In other words, style is really this unique mood that you’ve created out of yourself. No one else has that mood, no one else has access to it. When you’re actually in your style, you experience a mood that you don’t experience in any other space, a mood that no one else can experience. That’s how you know you’re doing it. It’s this feeling of some emergence from you…”

Hurray that I got to be in Hot Press, which is basically the Irish Rolling Stone. I was interviewed by Olaf Tyaransen, who is the resident outlaw reporter there. Full disclosure, some of the facts are wrong in the interview. But that reflects an even deeper truth: that Olaf and I drank too much Guinness when we spoke.

EVENT: Hang Out with Me & I’ll Answer Anything You Want To Ask Me about Sex.

26 Jan
Goofyface

So, you want to talk about sex. Hi.

Want to hear me talk about sex? Want to ask me your biggest, most urgent, most arousing question about sex?

Well, all right. Let’s do it.

Here’s how!

(Scroll down to Ask Conner Anything below if you already know the deal.)

THE EXPLORE MORE SUMMIT

I’m part of the Explore More summit – an online summit featuring thirty (!!) sexual thinkers, including Me, Dan Savage, Feminista Jones, Tristan Taromino, and more! (For a full list of speakers, click here.) The summit airs from January 28 – February 6. But you can sign up at any time during the summit!

In my interview, I talk about butts, consent, fear of sex in our culture, the problem of sex on campus, sexual shame, and more. Oh, and I talk about dicks (duh).

Each day, three 60 minute-long video interviews (an hour for each speaker) will be available for you to watch.

DS

Me and Dan Savage, coming at you.

Anyway, it’s totally free! 

You don’t have to pay anything for the interviews, you just have to watch them within 24 hours (Mine airs February 5).

Ask Conner Anything

BUT! Here’s the best part – If you sign up through me for the Platinum Package, there’s a big bonus:

I’ll personally answer any question you have about sex.

Yes! It’s true! Whatever sexy or anxious or baffling or funny or arousing or personal or cultural question you have about sex? I will personally answer it. And I don’t just mean with a “yes” or “no” or “boners!” – I mean, I’ll sit down and really go at answering it. And I’ll send you my answer by the end of the summit (February 6).

It’s easy to sign up.

  1. Just go to the summit site via this link
  2. When you get there, click on BONUS PACKAGES in the top right.
  3. Sign up for the PLATINUM PACKAGE.
  4. After  you sign up, just send me an email with your question – connerhabibsocial[at]gmail.com  – and include “Explore5” in the subject line.  This offer is ONLY available for people that sign up for the summit THROUGH ME.

I’m using the honor system here, so please be a nice person. One sign up = one question.

On top of that, you’ll have access to all the interviews for 90 days, as well as all the bonus materials other speakers are offering.

All right?

All right!
Love,

CH

Twitter Explore More Image

2015: The Best Stuff

3 Jan

Happy new everything, everyone!

Here’s a list of my best stuff from 2015.

I do this every year, and it’s just my best stuff. It doesn’t have to be anyone else’s, but I’d love to hear your stuff too. So feel free to comment with your favorite stuff at the end here.

Music:

DA.jpg

Blur’s Damon Albarn, praying to sound.

The album I enjoyed the most that actually came out in 2015 was Magic Whip by Blur; and I got to see them play this year too – something I though would never happen again since seeing them in the late 90s. No band creates such diversity of sound from album to album, while still maintaining the “oh-that’s-them” recognizability as Blur. Watching Damon Albarn laze across the stage, then pounce up with energy, only to stumble toward the crowd smiling and handsome in the atonal guitar grind…It’s still powerful, still amazing.

If you’d like to know what song was most blasted out my car windows this year, while like a moron I was singing at the top of my lungs, it was “This Is Not A Party” by The Wombats.

Other noteworthy albums – The Beauty Pill’s amazing and layered Describes Things as They Are, a John Zorn-worthy pop rock record. +Exit Verse’s self-titled debut left me wondering why I never felt so connected to guitar riffs before. I found myself singing, not just the choruses and verses, but the parts without words, too.  + Faith No More created a metal album, Sol Invictus, that rivaled the brilliance Angel Dust. + I listened to a whole lot of Death Grips this year.

SW

from Slow West

Movies:

Carol

Tangerine

Where to Invade Next

Slow West

In a sea (“sea” is a generous word) of mediocre LGBT-themed movies, obsessed with struggle or snark and not humanity, Carol and Tangerine are brilliant, powerful and lead the way forward, albeit on two very different paths. Real works of art. + Michael Moore’s excellent new documentary Where to Invade Next is an even rarer thing, perhaps: a work of optimism. + Slow West was not a perfect film, but it was a beautJBDiful one. I was excited by it and even more excited to see what writer/director John Maclean (this was his debut) does next.

Also, extra shout outs to: A forgotten slasher film from 1981 – Just Before Dawn screened at Los Angeles’s amazing vintage film house New Beverly Cinema. It’s a weird, unsettling, and gender-conscious horror movie. + The crazy, nonstop real-actual-blood fest of Roar, also from 1981 (what a year!) – a reality-meets-fiction movie about lots and lots of big cats. It’s fun and horrible.

Books:

Taussig

Michael Taussig

As usual, I didn’t mostly read books that came out this year, so these are the favorites of what I read, not of new releases. This year, I also lived out a lifelong dream of reading a book a day, every day. I lasted about six weeks. It was amazing; my mind felt like it was on speed, even as I’d slowed everything down to sit in silence and scan the symbols on the paper.

The Miracle Cures of Dr. Aira and The Hare by César Aira

Heroes: Mass Murder and Suicide by Franco “Bifo” Berardi

Our Lady of the Ruins: Poems by Traci Brimhall

Campus Sex, Campus Security by Jennifer Doyle

Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution by Mona Eltahawy

The Joy of Revolution by Ken Knabb

The Corn Wolf by Michaeil Taussig

TB

Traci Brimhall

From top to bottom here: Discovering César Aira’s novels was a huge highlight for me – their insistence on the magic of thought is intoxicating and playful.+Berardi’s great book on why so many mass shootings are taking place as our society is translated into a spectacle. + Brimhall’s book of rich and terrifying poems, a cold light that will turn in you a truth you might not have wanted to feel. + Doyle has written the bravest book on sexual culture in the US I’ve read in a long time, with particular emphasis on how our views of sexual assault are intertwined with dependence on the state. + Eltahawy’s book uncovered the hidden corners of my own misogyny and challenged them with a body of work so powerful, I could not help but surrender. +Ken Knabb enlivened my sense of what is possible and why I would enjoy engaging. + Finally, Michael Taussig bonds together myth, magic, theory, and Walter Benjamin in a stunning exercise of style.

Two books I need to give special mention to – Jon Ronson’s So You’ve Been SOTLPublicly Shamed and Dr. Chris Donaghue’s Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture. I make small appearances in both. The former is a book on the reemergence (and pitfalls) of shame as a social strategy. It is funny, light, and still profound. + Chris Donaghue is one of my closest colleagues and best friend. His book is a stirring look at sex in our personal lives. He utilizes his years of clinical experience with a radical outlook. It’s the perfect book to change your life.

***

All right, folks, that’s it for now. Let’s hold hands into this new year. Much love,

CH

Interlude/Update/Events/Hello

2 Sep

inbedMy blog series, The Sex Radicals returns next week with the penultimate entry.  Until then, I wanted to give everyone a heads up about what’s going on here in my ridiculous life.

***

Upcoming Events

I’ll be speaking at Catalyst Con West on Saturday September 12, with my closest colleague, Dr. Chris Donaghue.  Our talk, “The Limits of Sex Positivity,” will focus on the pitfalls of the sex positive perspective and community.  The sex positive movement has helped contribute to a healthier, better educated, and more open sexual culture. But with any cultural shift, new dangers are created. What are the limits, pitfalls, and problems of the sex positive movement? For more info on the talk, click here.TT

The same day at Catalyst Con, I’ll be recording a live podcast discussion with porn director and sex educator Tristan Taromino on her world-renowned radio show, Sex Out Loud.  Click here (and scroll down) for info.

***

Media

Happily busy with podcasts, videos, interviews, etc.

A while back, I appeared on the Grimerica podcast, which focuses on science at the margins, the occult, and general weirdness.  This was my second appearance, and I was joined by the host of one of my other favorite podcasts, Skeptiko.  Alex Tsakiris and I talked about all sorts of stuff, and we don’t always agree (as usual with Alex and I), but it goes deep.  To listen to the discussion, click here.  If you like the discussion, there’s another one between Alex and I, on my blog, here.

Abby Martin

Abby Martin

I also appeared on Abby Martin’s new podcast, Media Roots RadioYou might remember my appearance on Abby’s radical journalism show Breaking the Set a few years back.  Or, if not, you might just know who she is and think she’s awesome.  You’re right.  Abby and I discuss the problems with gay marriage from a queer perspective, as well as bigotry masquerading as new atheism.  We also talk about the PEN America/Charlie Hebdo kerfuffle I was involved in a few months ago.  Abby just moved to New York to start her new show, The Empire Files.  When it airs, watch it.

In other podcast news, I also appeared on This Week in Blackness after Dark with host N’Jaila Rhee.  We spend the 45 minutes or so talking about the recent federal raid on the offices male escort service, Rentboy.  We also discuss all the issues of intersectionality (male privilege, homophobia, class issues, etc.) this raid raises.  Lots to chew on.

My series of sexual health videos for the LGBT Center in West Hollywood, produced by WeHo Life, are now out.

In the first video, I talk about cleaning yourself out in preparation for sex.  For some reason they wanted me to film that video in a public park, so, enjoy my frank public discussion of a generally private act.

I talk with Happy Endings star Stephen Guarino about open relationships and monogamy, and how to juggle both/either.  Quick tip: neither is in-and-of-itself easy.  Watch it here.

In another video in the series, I discuss how to create a sex positive community with stand-up comedian James Adomian.

James Adomian

James Adomian

Meaning, I discuss it with him.  Not, like, how to create a sex positive community with James himself.  Although, okay, sure, if he lives in your neighborhood, you might want to.

I loved shooting these videos because they allowed me to talk about sex and be goofy at the same time.  But not like “tee-hee, OMG it’s SEX” goofy, just like, “look, like is silly and we do this silly thing called sex when we’re alive.”

Also, they did a little opening credits animation thing where I’m the Superman of sex.  I like being a superhero.

Screen Shot 2015-09-02 at 11.53.06 AM

So I’ve Been Publicly Shamed. Hurray!

2 Jun

Screen Shot 2015-06-01 at 3.23.37 PM

SYBPS

MEDIA APPEARANCES

A lot of great stuff happening lately.  First, I want to give a shout out to my shout out in bestselling author Jon Ronson‘s new (and excellent) book, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed.  It’s about the rise of shaming culture on the internet, and its repercussions.  The book is funny and poignant, and having been a huge Jon Ronson fan since his first book, Them: Adventures with Extremists, I’m thrilled to be included in it.

Hilariously (perfectly) enough, Jon Ronson mentions my asshole.  And then Jon Stewart praised the book as “wonderful.”  So I’m just going to go out on a limb and pretend that that somehow means that I was on the Daily Show.  Or, um, my asshole was, anyway.

Screen Shot 2015-04-06 at 4.12.31 PM

***

Me with Brad Kalvo, David Anthony, Dirk Caber, and a funny porny mustache.  From After the Heist

Me with Brad Kalvo, David Anthony, Dirk Caber, and a funny porny mustache. From After the Heist

I’m featured in two new Buzzfeed Video videos: “Men Watch Porn with Porn Stars” and “Women Watch Porn with Porn Stars.”  Basically, I watch one of my scenes — from Joe Gage’s & Ray Dragon’s excellent and bestselling porn, After the Heist (link NSFW) with Buzzfeed staffers.  So they’re just sitting there watching me, you know, have lots and lots of sex.  It was a hilarious and fun experience.  In the “Women…” version, I hang out with my friend, comedian Gaby Dunn.  Always a pleasure to have your friends watch you get a facial (?)  In the “Men…” version, I watch with a very handsome straight guy named Dan De Lorenzo.  He was sweating, curious, and funny.  I have to admit the experience was arousing for me.  And maybe for him, too.  “There’s a lot of tension between us,” he said afterward, “and not in a bad way!”

Looking at my buttcrack while Gaby Dunn cracks a joke.

Looking at my buttcrack while Gaby Dunn cracks a joke.

***

I appeared  on the Grimerica podcast with Skeptiko host and author of Why Science Is Wrong about Almost Everything Alex Tsakiris.  Along with weirdness/occult writer Red Pill Junkie and hosts Graham and Darren, we cover a lot of ground: Psychoanalysis, what to do about climate change, virtual reality models of the universe, how to fight conspiracies, and more.  These sorts of boundary-less conversations often have a Burning-Man-meets-The-Matrix thing going on, of course.  But they also have the more serious function of pushing me (and hopefully listeners!) into a creative and speculative way of thinking.  The alternating currents of playful and thoughtful do something interesting when they collide.  So listen and take it very seriously and also don’t take it seriously at all.

MOVIES

After over a year hiatus, I finally have some new adult work coming out.  It’s a sequel (yes, a real SEQUEL sequel) to Dad Goes to College, one of my most popular films.  I wrote about taking a break –and how porn performers can gracefully take a break or leave the industry — earlier this year.  It took legendary porn and Z-List science fiction director Joe Gage to coax me out of my donut-eating bliss.  The conversation went something like this:

Getting stared down by my

Getting stared down by my “dad,” Allen Silver in Dad Goes to College.

Joe: Hey Conner, I want you to reprise your role as Kyle in a sequel to Dad Goes to College.  It’s called Dad Out West.

Me: That sounds great, but I’ve been off for a year and a half.  I weigh 185 lbs. I have a different body now.  Not sure if I’m right for it.

Joe: Send me pictures, let’s take a look.

Me: *sends pictures*

Joe: You’re perfect!  Have you ever seen Boyhood?  It’ll be just like that!

Me:  Okay, sign me up. Just don’t make me stop eating donuts.

To watch a very NSFW teaser of Dad Out West, click here.  If you want to download the movie, stream it, or buy a DVD, click here (NSFW and also: it’s not up just yet but WILL be available later this month).

***

WRITING

Quite a bit of stuff coming out soon.  Including

my horror comic with Amit Elan,

an essay, “The Name of Your First Pet and the Street You Grew Up On,” in the anthology Coming out Like a Porn Star

an interview in the academic journal Porn Studies

a collection of conversations with sex therapist and radical thinker Dr. Chris Donaghue

an essay about the connections between anti-sex work/anti-porn bigotry and other forms of hate speech

and more (phew!)

As always, if you want to hire me to speak to your college or organization about pornography, sex, and culture, you should!  Click here for more info/to hire me.

Okay, phew, that’s it for now.  Thanks for stopping by.  Love!
CH