updates | Conner Habib

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Update: What Do Dan Savage, Peter Rollins, the CBC, & A Flying Golden Penis Have In Common? Me!

Lots going on in my funny version of the world.

HONOR/AWARD

First, I won a Sexual Freedom Award! Hurray! The Sexual Freedom Awards in the UK have been running for over twenty years now, honoring people who are working for progressive sexual values and pushing on our culture’s fundamentalist sexual boundaries.

I was honored with the Best Publicist Award – “publicist” because the Best Writer category sfa has been absorbed into this one, but it’s largely an award for writers. Past winners include Frankie Mullin, Brooke Magnanti (of Secret Diary of a Call Girl fame), and Carol Queen. Whoa!

It’s a huge honor, and the golden flying penis statue is probably the most, um, functional trophy I’ve ever received. *ahem*

***

MEDIA APPEARANCES

DAN SAVAGE

First, I’m on Dan Savage’s new Audible.com radio show, Hot Mic! Here’s the gist: Audible started doing something called Audible channels, which features podcast-style web shows that you can subscribe to. Dan asked me on to discuss sex work, porn, LGBT issues, and more. So there you have it!

Click here or on Dan’s mug to listen.

screen-shot-2016-12-05-at-11-34-07-am PETER ROLLINS

You may or may not know that for some of 2015 and most of 2016, I lived with my friend, the philosopher and theologian, Peter Rollins. Before I met Peter, I was a huge admirer of his work after having read his amazing book of zen-like parables, The Orthodox Heretic. In fact, I was a big blabbermouth supporter, as follower of mine on twitter who pulled up this 2013 tweet (which apparently no one cared about at the time haha) recently to remind me. Anyway, a few years later I met Peter, we were fast friends, and he was moving in to my apartment for a year. We had lots of deep (sometimes contentious!) philosophy talks while we lived together but never did any sort of public event. So on the day before he moved out, we recorded a short conversation about spirituality, faith, marginalized identities, and psychoanalysis, which you can watch below!

CBC’s OUT IN THE OPEN

I appeared on The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s show, Out in The Open, hosted by the excellent Piya Chattopadhyay! Totally honored, because my favorite podcast, Writers & Company (hosted by the forever amazing Eleanor Wachtel) is on the CBC. But also, it’s kind of great that I was on a government-sponsored channel talking about having sex in bathrooms. The producer reached out to me after having read my essay about sex at rest areas on Salon.com a few years ago. Anyway, it’s me, discussing where sexual tensions come from, why men have sex in bathrooms, and why that’s not going away any time soon.

I say stuff like, “If there’s a place where men are going to stand next to each other with their genitals exposed, there’s going to be sex happening there at some point or another.” Well. Yeah. They erroneously label me as a “former” adult star (I’ve got a movie coming out soon!), but that aside, it’s a fun show. Click here to listen to my segment!

WHAT ELSE?

I’ve got a few things up my sleeve before the year ends! A huge Christmas/New Year sale on my writing coaching services, a one session pop-up class, my annual year-end round up, and info on my upcoming projects!

Tags: Carol Queen, CBC, Conner Habib, Dan Savage, events, media, Out in the Open, Peter Rollins, Piya Chattopadhyay, rest area sex, sex, Sexual Freedom Awards, updates, writing coaching

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Write Better

12 Nov

WRITING COACHING

Hello, writers and writer-to-be! I’ve been a writing teacher for almost fifteen years now; helping writers meet their goals, improve their voices, and create sustainable writing practices. Since 2007, I’ve been offering one-on-one writing coach services, and I kept hearing from people that they wanted concentrated courses, editing services, and more. So I decided to up my game as a teacher and re-created my entire practice.

Now you can hire me by signing up for my writing coach packages:

Writing Life: From Page to Publication in Six Weeks for Your Personal Essay and Nonfiction Article

and

8 Weeks To Becoming A (Better) Writer

You can also hire me for a Writer’s Assessment, Critical Editing, and a service that includes everything, One-on-one Writing Coaching. I’m also an experienced script doctor and offer Script Elevation services on select-client basis.

For more info on any of these packages or services, click here.

About Me

I’m a prolific and widely-published author and have over a decade experience as a writing teacher. I’ve helped clients get their work published in nationally-recognized publications, prepare scripts for production on stage, make money off their work, polish their screenplays, create regularly updated and respected blogs, kickstart their writing careers, and more!

My writing appears and is featured in/on: The Stranger, Vice, Salon, Slate, The Advocate, The Rumpus, Headmaster Magazine and more. I’m a member of PEN American and my work has been anthologized many times, including in Best Sex Writing 2013 (Cleis Press), Best Gay Stories 2012 (Lethe Press), and more. I was awarded the Distinguished Teaching Award as a writing professor at the University of Massachusetts, and the Harvey Swados Prize in fiction writing. I’m an internationally recognized public figure who has given dozens of talks at universities and organizations, from Amherst College to the Museum of Modern Art in New York, from the Rudolf Steiner Social Finance organization to University of Green Bay Wisconsin.

I’m also a nice guy with a wealth of knowledge backing up my practice, and we’ll have a comfortable and fun experience. I’ll read your work and challenge you in constructive ways without hurting your feelings or sugarcoating anything. You’ll feel encouraged and excited to write more.

Please contact me to get started or with any questions you have at connerwrites at gmail dot com.

Typewriter with bible script on the paper and a mug of coffee

Tags: Conner Habib, education, essays, hire me, literature, nonfiction, screenplays, services, updates, writing, writing coaching

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New Course! Banishing the World: Postmodern Philosophy & the Occult + Updates!

23 Sep

Me & Eternity

I’m teaching a new online course called BANISHING THE WORLD: POSTMODERN PHILOSOPHY & THE OCCULT. One session, 2 hours, live, online, with a Q&A at the end. It’s only 15.00 for a standard ticket. And it’s going to be awesome.

I’ve been studying both postmodern philosophy and the occult for decades now, and you know? They’re not easy! They’re difficult to read and understand, even as you sense the deep value in them.

But put them together and, whoa, alchemical reaction. Gold.

Below is the course description; click through to the Eventbrite page to sign up! (Oh, and, if you sign up for a Gold ticket, you get an occult-meets-postmodern t-shirt designed by me and customized to your size!)

Below that are a bunch of podcasts I’ve been on, interviews I’ve given (including one super in-depth interview with a literary magazine). Busy fella; thanks for hanging out with me!

***

BANISHING THE WORLD: POSTMODERN PHILOSOPHY & THE OCCULT

Like the two snakes that twine around Hermes’s staff, the occult and postmodern philosophy embrace the same deep revelation:

The world is not as it seems.

But while the occult has been pushed out of serious academic study, postmodern philosophy remains much-discussed and influential. Of course, philosophy’s roots are in the occult: initiates in classical cultures discussing the meanings and substances of the universe. Then, as religion rose to new heights of power, philosophy rebelled against the magical, supernatural, and mystical. Now, after the distractions of the modern era, philosophers – as much as they may deny it – have once again found themselves at the altar with the occultists, the witches, and the mystics.

The postmodern philosophers are in many ways the mystics and maguses of our time. They speak in strange languages, presenting uncanny riddles, and exiling the old world by revealing the new. They’re renaming the gods, influencing cultures, changing medicine and science, and more.

With writer, radical thinker, and activist Conner Habib you’ll explore:

– How the theories of postmodern thinkers like Gilles Deleuze, Felix Guattari, Jacques Lacan, Bruno Latour, Donna Harraway, Michael Taussig, Michel Serres, and more, overlap with occult ideologies and practices.

– Why it’s all so complicated, anyway, and how using the occult to approach postmodern philosophy and vice versa can make both easier to understand.

– How to use both occult and postmodern ideas to reenvision the world you live in.

– How occult ideas have found their way into academia, science, and activism through the conduit of postmodernism.

Conner will guide you through the complex ideas of the occult and postmodern philosophy in plain, easy-to-understand language in this live, online course. It’s for the beginner and the adept alike.

The one-session one-hour lecture will be followed by a Q&A, so you’ll be part of the mind-expanding discussion.

If you can’t attend the day of, or if you want to watch the lecture again, you’ll have exclusive access to a recording of the course for 90 days. SIGN UP HERE!

***

UPDATES

PODCASTS!

I’ve returned to the great, mystical, dangerous, raspy clutches of The Duncan Trussell Family Hour! It’s my fourth appearance on the comedy-meets-sprituality-meets-tech-craziness podcast. I seriously love doing Duncan’s podcast. We go deep, and Duncan is one of the best conversationalists out there. Also, we invoke the god Pan together at the end. So, um, there’s that.

I also kicked it with sex positive power generator Dawn Serra on the Sex Gets Real podcast. We go deep there. I diss feminism. But in a non-diss feminism-is-also-good way. And I talk about why consent is a bit of a Trojan Horse when it comes to sexual ethics.

I was on writer/comedian/adult film witch priestess Sovereign Syre’s podcast, Observations. We talk about being (and not being) nice to other people, identity politics, and more. It’s a good one. Her podcast in general is pretty great. Listen to it.

The guys at Bateworld – a solo-sexual website (look it up, folks) – created a playlist inspired by me, which is kind of awesome. So if you need music to listen to while you’re, *ahem*, thinking fondly of me, it’s there. The site is not SFW, so if you have a horrible job that thinks looking at parts of the human body is wicked, don’t go there at work. Wait till you get home and you can blast it out. The music, I mean.

PRINT! I was featured in the rebel lit magazine, The Matador Review. It’s a good interview, and I’m proud of it. I like that I got to compare making porn to what César Aira must feel when he writes his novels.

Here’s an excerpt: “…style is a mood. In other words, style is really this unique mood that you’ve created out of yourself. No one else has that mood, no one else has access to it. When you’re actually in your style, you experience a mood that you don’t experience in any other space, a mood that no one else can experience. That’s how you know you’re doing it. It’s this feeling of some emergence from you…”

Hurray that I got to be in Hot Press, which is basically the Irish Rolling Stone. I was interviewed by Olaf Tyaransen, who is the resident outlaw reporter there. Full disclosure, some of the facts are wrong in the interview. But that reflects an even deeper truth: that Olaf and I drank too much Guinness when we spoke.

Tags: academia, activism, Aleister Crowley, Bruno Latour, Cesar Aira, classes, Conner Habib, Donna Haraway, Duncan Trussell, events, interviews, Jacques Lacan, Life Superlives, literature, media, Michael Taussig, Michel Serres, occult, online course, Pan, philosophy, podcasts, updates

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EVENT: Hang Out with Me & I’ll Answer Anything You Want To Ask Me about Sex.

26 Jan

So, you want to talk about sex. Hi.

Want to hear me talk about sex? Want to ask me your biggest, most urgent, most arousing question about sex?

Well, all right. Let’s do it.

Here’s how!

(Scroll down to Ask Conner Anything below if you already know the deal.)

THE EXPLORE MORE SUMMIT

I’m part of the Explore More summit – an online summit featuring thirty (!!) sexual thinkers, including Me, Dan Savage, Feminista Jones, Tristan Taromino, and more! (For a full list of speakers, click here.) The summit airs from January 28 – February 6. But you can sign up at any time during the summit!

In my interview, I talk about butts, consent, fear of sex in our culture, the problem of sex on campus, sexual shame, and more. Oh, and I talk about dicks (duh).

Each day, three 60 minute-long video interviews (an hour for each speaker) will be available for you to watch.

Me and Dan Savage, coming at you.

Anyway, it’s totally free!

You don’t have to pay anything for the interviews, you just have to watch them within 24 hours (Mine airs February 5).

Ask Conner Anything

BUT! Here’s the best part – If you sign up through me for the Platinum Package, there’s a big bonus:

I’ll personally answer any question you have about sex.

Yes! It’s true! Whatever sexy or anxious or baffling or funny or arousing or personal or cultural question you have about sex? I will personally answer it. And I don’t just mean with a “yes” or “no” or “boners!” – I mean, I’ll sit down and really go at answering it. And I’ll send you my answer by the end of the summit (February 6).

It’s easy to sign up.

Just go to the summit site via this link
When you get there, click on BONUS PACKAGES in the top right.
Sign up for the PLATINUM PACKAGE.
After you sign up, just send me an email with your question – connerhabibsocial[at]gmail.com – and include “Explore5” in the subject line. This offer is ONLY available for people that sign up for the summit THROUGH ME.

I’m using the honor system here, so please be a nice person. One sign up = one question.

On top of that, you’ll have access to all the interviews for 90 days, as well as all the bonus materials other speakers are offering.

All right?

All right!
Love,

Tags: activism, Ask Me Anything, Conner Habib, Dan Savage, Dawn Serra, events, Explore More Summit, Feminista Jones, philosophy, sex, sex advice, sex and culture, updates

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2015: The Best Stuff

3 Jan

Happy new everything, everyone!

Here’s a list of my best stuff from 2015.

I do this every year, and it’s just my best stuff. It doesn’t have to be anyone else’s, but I’d love to hear your stuff too. So feel free to comment with your favorite stuff at the end here.

Music:

Blur’s Damon Albarn, praying to sound.

The album I enjoyed the most that actually came out in 2015 was Magic Whip by Blur; and I got to see them play this year too – something I though would never happen again since seeing them in the late 90s. No band creates such diversity of sound from album to album, while still maintaining the “oh-that’s-them” recognizability as Blur. Watching Damon Albarn laze across the stage, then pounce up with energy, only to stumble toward the crowd smiling and handsome in the atonal guitar grind…It’s still powerful, still amazing.

If you’d like to know what song was most blasted out my car windows this year, while like a moron I was singing at the top of my lungs, it was “This Is Not A Party” by The Wombats.

Other noteworthy albums – The Beauty Pill’s amazing and layered Describes Things as They Are, a John Zorn-worthy pop rock record. +Exit Verse’s self-titled debut left me wondering why I never felt so connected to guitar riffs before. I found myself singing, not just the choruses and verses, but the parts without words, too. + Faith No More created a metal album, Sol Invictus, that rivaled the brilliance Angel Dust. + I listened to a whole lot of Death Grips this year.

from Slow West

Movies:

Carol

Tangerine

Where to Invade Next

Slow West

In a sea (“sea” is a generous word) of mediocre LGBT-themed movies, obsessed with struggle or snark and not humanity, Carol and Tangerine are brilliant, powerful and lead the way forward, albeit on two very different paths. Real works of art. + Michael Moore’s excellent new documentary Where to Invade Next is an even rarer thing, perhaps: a work of optimism. + Slow West was not a perfect film, but it was a beaut JBD iful one. I was excited by it and even more excited to see what writer/director John Maclean (this was his debut) does next.

Also, extra shout outs to: A forgotten slasher film from 1981 – Just Before Dawn – screened at Los Angeles’s amazing vintage film house New Beverly Cinema. It’s a weird, unsettling, and gender-conscious horror movie. + The crazy, nonstop real-actual-blood fest of Roar, also from 1981 (what a year!) – a reality-meets-fiction movie about lots and lots of big cats. It’s fun and horrible.

Books:

Michael Taussig

As usual, I didn’t mostly read books that came out this year, so these are the favorites of what I read, not of new releases. This year, I also lived out a lifelong dream of reading a book a day, every day. I lasted about six weeks. It was amazing; my mind felt like it was on speed, even as I’d slowed everything down to sit in silence and scan the symbols on the paper.

The Miracle Cures of Dr. Aira and The Hare by César Aira

Heroes: Mass Murder and Suicide by Franco “Bifo” Berardi

Our Lady of the Ruins: Poems by Traci Brimhall

Campus Sex, Campus Security by Jennifer Doyle

Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution by Mona Eltahawy

The Joy of Revolution by Ken Knabb

The Corn Wolf by Michaeil Taussig

Traci Brimhall

From top to bottom here: Discovering César Aira’s novels was a huge highlight for me – their insistence on the magic of thought is intoxicating and playful.+Berardi’s great book on why so many mass shootings are taking place as our society is translated into a spectacle. + Brimhall’s book of rich and terrifying poems, a cold light that will turn in you a truth you might not have wanted to feel. + Doyle has written the bravest book on sexual culture in the US I’ve read in a long time, with particular emphasis on how our views of sexual assault are intertwined with dependence on the state. + Eltahawy’s book uncovered the hidden corners of my own misogyny and challenged them with a body of work so powerful, I could not help but surrender. +Ken Knabb enlivened my sense of what is possible and why I would enjoy engaging. + Finally, Michael Taussig bonds together myth, magic, theory, and Walter Benjamin in a stunning exercise of style.

Two books I need to give special mention to – Jon Ronson’s So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed and Dr. Chris Donaghue’s Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture. I make small appearances in both. The former is a book on the reemergence (and pitfalls) of shame as a social strategy. It is funny, light, and still profound. + Chris Donaghue is one of my closest colleagues and best friend. His book is a stirring look at sex in our personal lives. He utilizes his years of clinical experience with a radical outlook. It’s the perfect book to change your life.

***

All right, folks, that’s it for now. Let’s hold hands into this new year. Much love,

Tags: Best Of, Blur, Conner Habib, film, media appearances, Michael Moore, Michael Taussig, updates

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Interlude/Update/Events/Hello

2 Sep

My blog series, The Sex Radicals returns next week with the penultimate entry. Until then, I wanted to give everyone a heads up about what’s going on here in my ridiculous life.

***

Upcoming Events

I’ll be speaking at Catalyst Con West on Saturday September 12, with my closest colleague, Dr. Chris Donaghue. Our talk, “The Limits of Sex Positivity,” will focus on the pitfalls of the sex positive perspective and community. The sex positive movement has helped contribute to a healthier, better educated, and more open sexual culture. But with any cultural shift, new dangers are created. What are the limits, pitfalls, and problems of the sex positive movement? For more info on the talk, click here.

The same day at Catalyst Con, I’ll be recording a live podcast discussion with porn director and sex educator Tristan Taromino on her world-renowned radio show, Sex Out Loud. Click here (and scroll down) for info.

***

Media

Happily busy with podcasts, videos, interviews, etc.

A while back, I appeared on the Grimerica podcast, which focuses on science at the margins, the occult, and general weirdness. This was my second appearance, and I was joined by the host of one of my other favorite podcasts, Skeptiko. Alex Tsakiris and I talked about all sorts of stuff, and we don’t always agree (as usual with Alex and I), but it goes deep. To listen to the discussion, click here. If you like the discussion, there’s another one between Alex and I, on my blog, here.

Abby Martin

I also appeared on Abby Martin’s new podcast, Media Roots Radio. You might remember my appearance on Abby’s radical journalism show Breaking the Set a few years back. Or, if not, you might just know who she is and think she’s awesome. You’re right. Abby and I discuss the problems with gay marriage from a queer perspective, as well as bigotry masquerading as new atheism. We also talk about the PEN America/Charlie Hebdo kerfuffle I was involved in a few months ago. Abby just moved to New York to start her new show, The Empire Files. When it airs, watch it.

In other podcast news, I also appeared on This Week in Blackness after Dark with host N’Jaila Rhee. We spend the 45 minutes or so talking about the recent federal raid on the offices male escort service, Rentboy. We also discuss all the issues of intersectionality (male privilege, homophobia, class issues, etc.) this raid raises. Lots to chew on.

My series of sexual health videos for the LGBT Center in West Hollywood, produced by WeHo Life, are now out.

In the first video, I talk about cleaning yourself out in preparation for sex. For some reason they wanted me to film that video in a public park, so, enjoy my frank public discussion of a generally private act.

I talk with Happy Endings star Stephen Guarino about open relationships and monogamy, and how to juggle both/either. Quick tip: neither is in-and-of-itself easy. Watch it here.

In another video in the series, I discuss how to create a sex positive community with stand-up comedian James Adomian.

James Adomian

Meaning, I discuss it with him. Not, like, how to create a sex positive community with James himself. Although, okay, sure, if he lives in your neighborhood, you might want to.

I loved shooting these videos because they allowed me to talk about sex and be goofy at the same time. But not like “tee-hee, OMG it’s SEX” goofy, just like, “look, like is silly and we do this silly thing called sex when we’re alive.”

Also, they did a little opening credits animation thing where I’m the Superman of sex. I like being a superhero.

Tags: Abby Martin, activism, Alex Tsakiris, Catalyst Con, Chris Donaghue, Conner Habib events, events, media appearances, N’Jaila Rhee, sex education, This Week in Blackness, Tristan Taromino, updates

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So I’ve Been Publicly Shamed. Hurray!

2 Jun

MEDIA APPEARANCES

A lot of great stuff happening lately. First, I want to give a shout out to my shout out in bestselling author Jon Ronson‘s new (and excellent) book, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed. It’s about the rise of shaming culture on the internet, and its repercussions. The book is funny and poignant, and having been a huge Jon Ronson fan since his first book, Them: Adventures with Extremists, I’m thrilled to be included in it.

Hilariously (perfectly) enough, Jon Ronson mentions my asshole. And then Jon Stewart praised the book as “wonderful.” So I’m just going to go out on a limb and pretend that that somehow means that I was on the Daily Show. Or, um, my asshole was, anyway.

***

Me with Brad Kalvo, David Anthony, Dirk Caber, and a funny porny mustache. From After the Heist

I’m featured in two new Buzzfeed Video videos: “Men Watch Porn with Porn Stars” and “Women Watch Porn with Porn Stars.” Basically, I watch one of my scenes — from Joe Gage’s & Ray Dragon’s excellent and bestselling porn, After the Heist (link NSFW) — with Buzzfeed staffers. So they’re just sitting there watching me, you know, have lots and lots of sex. It was a hilarious and fun experience. In the “Women…” version, I hang out with my friend, comedian Gaby Dunn. Always a pleasure to have your friends watch you get a facial (?) In the “Men…” version, I watch with a very handsome straight guy named Dan De Lorenzo. He was sweating, curious, and funny. I have to admit the experience was arousing for me. And maybe for him, too. “There’s a lot of tension between us,” he said afterward, “and not in a bad way!”

Looking at my buttcrack while Gaby Dunn cracks a joke.

***

I appeared on the Grimerica podcast with Skeptiko host and author of Why Science Is Wrong about Almost Everything Alex Tsakiris. Along with weirdness/occult writer Red Pill Junkie and hosts Graham and Darren, we cover a lot of ground: Psychoanalysis, what to do about climate change, virtual reality models of the universe, how to fight conspiracies, and more. These sorts of boundary-less conversations often have a Burning-Man-meets-The-Matrix thing going on, of course. But they also have the more serious function of pushing me (and hopefully listeners!) into a creative and speculative way of thinking. The alternating currents of playful and thoughtful do something interesting when they collide. So listen and take it very seriously and also don’t take it seriously at all.

MOVIES

After over a year hiatus, I finally have some new adult work coming out. It’s a sequel (yes, a real SEQUEL sequel) to Dad Goes to College, one of my most popular films. I wrote about taking a break –and how porn performers can gracefully take a break or leave the industry — earlier this year. It took legendary porn and Z-List science fiction director Joe Gage to coax me out of my donut-eating bliss. The conversation went something like this:

Getting stared down by my “dad,” Allen Silver in Dad Goes to College.

Joe: Hey Conner, I want you to reprise your role as Kyle in a sequel to Dad Goes to College. It’s called Dad Out West.

Me: That sounds great, but I’ve been off for a year and a half. I weigh 185 lbs. I have a different body now. Not sure if I’m right for it.

Joe: Send me pictures, let’s take a look.

Me: *sends pictures*

Joe: You’re perfect! Have you ever seen Boyhood? It’ll be just like that!

Me: Okay, sign me up. Just don’t make me stop eating donuts.

To watch a very NSFW teaser of Dad Out West, click here. If you want to download the movie, stream it, or buy a DVD, click here (NSFW and also: it’s not up just yet but WILL be available later this month).

***

WRITING

Quite a bit of stuff coming out soon. Including

my horror comic with Amit Elan,

an essay, “The Name of Your First Pet and the Street You Grew Up On,” in the anthology Coming out Like a Porn Star,

an interview in the academic journal Porn Studies

a collection of conversations with sex therapist and radical thinker Dr. Chris Donaghue

an essay about the connections between anti-sex work/anti-porn bigotry and other forms of hate speech

and more (phew!)

As always, if you want to hire me to speak to your college or organization about pornography, sex, and culture, you should! Click here for more info/to hire me.

Okay, phew, that’s it for now. Thanks for stopping by. Love!
CH

Tags: Amit Elan, buzzfeed, Conner Habib, Gaby Dunn, Joe Gage, Jon Ronson, literature, Men Watch Porn with Porn Stars, porn, So You've Been Publicly Shamed, updates, Women Watch Porn with Porn Stars

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2014: The Best Stuff

1 Jan

Connor Maguire is a smooth motherfucker. Also, he fucked me while I hung upside down from a tree branch (see “Other Stuff”)

Happy New Year, everyone!

This is my best stuff.

It doesn’t have to be your best stuff.

But if you want, you can tell me yours in the comments.

Last year, I went into this-is-good-because-of-this and on and on. This year, just a list. I’ll meet you in the New Year.

***

Nina Persson, singing her animal heart out.

Music:

Nina Persson: Animal Heart

Augustines: Augustines

These were also the two best concerts of the year for me. Augustines played an acoustic set in Nashville – stripped down and personal and intense. Nina is the best singer of our time, and her albums don’t ever quite capture how powerful her presence is live. If she comes anywhere near to where you live, see her. Her voice is unforgettable.

***

Tom Hardy. Oh, Tom Hardy. From The Drop.

Movies:

The first two about spirituality and the paths it takes, echoing out into the world. The third, a crime drama with an amazing script. The fourth, a psychosexual horror movie that scared the shit out of me and made me cry. When does that ever happen? I keep thinking about them all.

***

The occult intensity of Alejandro Jodorowsky.

Books: (as usual, I didn’t mostly read books that came out this year, so these are the favorites of what I read, not of new releases):

The Beauty of the Husband by Anne Carson

The Magus of Strovolos by Kyriakos C. Markides

Psychomagic by Alejandro Jodorowsky

Knockemstiff by Donald Ray Pollock

The Pillowman by Martin McDonagh

Tampa by Alissa Nutting

On the list, in order, a book-length poem about lost love; two books about spiritual healing that scramble your mind; a brutal collection of short stories; a hilarious and dark play; a fucked and undeniably entertaining novel about a woman who gets a job as a middle school teacher to seduce kids.

***

This was a fun thing.

Other Stuff:

Took the year off from porn to eat donuts, focus on writing, and chill out in Los Angeles. I might do more, I might not. On the one hand: filmed gay sex with insanely hot guys. On the other hand: donuts.

My scene with Connor Maguire came out in January of 2014. I can’t believe that fuck in the woods is a year old now. Aaaw.

I now have a boyfriend, which looks crazy written down like this, but feels awesome.

I went to Mexico for the first time. It was awesome.

I was elected as Vice President of the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC) in the summer. I help improve the health, happiness, and quality of life for adult performers (gay, straight, queer, etc) currently working in the industry.

My essay, “What I Want To Know Is Why You Hate Porn Stars” was the cover story for the Stranger and became, like, a thing.

I met Scott Caan.

I appeared in the storytelling show, Risk!, for a second time, sharing the stage with Nicole Byer, among others. I talked about having sex with a straight dude in the Amherst Brewing Company bathroom when I was in college. So, you know: general interest story. That story is featured on the Risk! podcast, in an episode featuring Aubrey O’Day. Yes, that Aubrey O’Day.

Farewell, 2014. So much coming up. Can’t wait.

Love, Your pal, Conner Habib.

Tags: Conner Habib, literature, media appearances, porn, updates

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Fall Update and I’m the Vice President of Something

14 Oct

I’m a very professional person.

See that tie I’m wearing? Professional. Nevermind that I don’t have pants on underneath the frame of the photo. I’ve got to be profesh now that I’m the elected Vice President of a non-profit organization! Along with straight porn superstars James Deen, Chanel Preston, Veruca James, and Ela Darling, I’m now on the board of The Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC), and I couldn’t be happier. APAC is an organization whose membership is exclusively made up of porn performers, with the aim of encouraging performer health, safety, happiness, and quality of life. The organization was formed over a year ago by James Deen, Stoya, and others and membership has swelled as word has gotten out that we’re the only non-profit in town actually considering performer viewpoints and voices. We’ve fought against AB1576, created a Model Bill of Rights, raised thousands of dollars for related charities, and more. Part of my job is to create a bridge between the gay and straight industries, and to also make sure trans*, queer, and alt – performers are featured in the public discussion of porn, which too often leaves them out. I’m also one of the media spokespeople/contacts (along with Chanel) so f you’re not a performer and have questions about the organization, feel free to hit me up.

If you are an adult performer and interested in becoming a member, click here.

I am on a couple podcasts talking about the occult and sometimes it gets deep, y’all.

– First up: The Modern Witch Podcast. Even though I’m not a witch, my own occult interests intersect with magickal religious traditions. We talk quite a bit about God and what anyone means, anyway, when they mention God. I answer a few audience questions and it’s kind of gay in the good way.

– Also: Why Are People into That? with sex-savy host Tina Horn. Lots about how magick and ritual relates to sex. I also talk about my first memory and anal sex as an act of powerful transubstantiation. So. There you go.

I am interviewed by these magazines and say a lot of crazy shit and it’s fun. Here are some quotes from them.

– I’m in Playboy! Not, alas, as a centerfold. Someday! Until then, there’s a little write up of me and my work, and I feel really flattered to be featured. “Pornography represents a flipside and balancing-out of the cultural expectations of college students.”

– There’s a long an in-depth interview with me in Polari Magazine – we conducted the interview awhile back, but it’s recently posted, and there’s a lot there. “For me, the impossibility of Christianity is a profound thing for me. I was hanging out with a friend the other night, he’s an atheist and a comedian and he makes these jokes about being an atheist. But he asked me “So you believe in Jesus Christ? That this smart guy preached all this good stuff? You don’t believe in the entire walk on water or water to wine stuff?”. I said, “I totally believe in that, that’s the most important part”. What atheists say to all is “that’s impossible, it couldn’t have happened”. Whereas a more religious aligned person would say, “it’s impossible but it happened anyway”. Ultimately, it’s irrelevant whether it happened or not. The thing that is vital for me is about existing in a conceptual world where I can think of things impossible. I allow myself to think outside of the structures and confines of what I’m told is supposed to have happened, even down to the laws of physics and science. It allows everything to be possible.

Me and my porn bestie, gay-for-pay icon, Girth Brooks.

I have that approach in everything in life. In an election you’re told that you can vote for one guy or vote for the guy that’s slightly worse. There’s more to it than those options because I’m going to do everything in my power to make the world a better place. If you think that you only have these two little options, then you’re stuck with that. It’s always about doing the impossible thing and seeing past what we’re told. That probably comes from the punk rock thing! When someone says, “You can’t do that”, I might agree; but I will always take a minute to think or imagine a way outside of this.”

– Finally, my appearance in a recent issue of LA’s big free gay magazine, Frontiers. They wanted to know what I thought about gay for pay – which is something I get asked about quite a bit, and have written about here and here. But the subject is endlessly fascinating, I suppose. After all, it links into all our questions about what the heck sexuality is, after all. “What about gay men who were married for decades, came out late in life and decided to express their true feelings? Are they bi, straight or gay?”

Finally – have you noticed? I’ve been updating my blog more regularly. I think I deserve a big kiss on the cheek for that. Or a hug. Or a handy.

XXXo,

Tags: activism, Gay for Pay, media appearances, sex and culture, updates

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Habib Summer Update – Events, Writing, and Your Suggestions

17 Jul

Hello, summer! Lots happening.

The biggest news is that I turned my book — re-titled The Sex Book: Myths, Positions, Taboos and Possibilities — into the publisher (Disinformation Books), so now all I have to do is wait for the edits and dive back in. There’s this sort of negative space when you finish a book. Like, what do I do now?

Happily, other people and assignments having been keeping me too busy to notice my postpartum angst.

***

Fighting AB1576

If you haven’t yet heard of the crazy human rights violation that is AB1576, let me introduce you. AB1576 is a bill heading to the California State Senate, that would mandate condoms and testing for all porn performers and all porn shoots. It sounds like a good idea at first, but when you look at it for just a wee bit longer, it starts to reveal itself as a terrible disaster – a disaster of policy and morals.

For a full expression of why you should oppose AB1576, as well as how it intersects with the LGBT community, here’s my article about the bill for Slate, and below is an excerpt.

To fight AB1576 isn’t to argue against HIV testing for individuals, but against state-mandated testing. State-mandated testing is an HIV test without consent, in the sense that a performer would be forced to have one to work. AB1576 states that not getting an HIV test coincident with a porn production, even a small-scale one featuring you and your partner, would be a crime. This would be true even if two men who had already tested positive HIV wanted to make porn together. They would have to get tested every 14 days. Furthermore, two HIV+ men would have to wear condoms in all productions, since the bill does not distinguish who should wear condoms based on status. Whatever your feelings about two men with HIV having unprotected sex, they certainly don’t need testing every 14 days, and we now know that men with undetectable viral loads do not transmit HIV. If that’s not enough to disturb you, the bill would also criminalize two long-term monogamous partners making their own porn. They’d have to test for the production and wear condoms as well.

I’ve also been interviewed several times about it. For DailyDot on how safer conditions for performers require more than some overreaching bill, Tits And Sass along with Jiz Lee on the fallout of the bill and its potential for harm , Vice, and more.

To take action opposing AB1576, click here. Then when you see me, tell me you did it, and I’ll give you a huge hug for your help.

***

Writing

One of my favorite pieces to write in the past few months was my essay on the 1980s straight porn film, Debbie Goes To College for Nerve.com. Nerve asked me to write a piece about something from pop culture that shaped my sexuality. Maybe it’s a little obvious, but porn shaped my sexuality, especially straight porn, since that was all that was available.

DGTC Here’s an excerpt:

When I was young, I didn’t understand why I fixated on the blowjob scenes so much. It must be because I want some college girl to do that to me, I thought (wrongly, of course). Most gay guys my age have had this experience: we watched straight porn because it was what we had access to, and what we presumed we wanted to watch. But really, I’m not sure what’s more confusing: gay guys watching straight porn or straight guys watching it. I mean there are naked men in it. How do straight men cope with watching men have sex with women? There are all these dicks. Guys fucking. Butt cheeks. The mystery of straight porn is that it can’t ever really be straight.

I continue to contribute, albeit sporadically, sex and relationship advice to Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger’s blog. Since Patti and I often have totally divergent views on sex and relationships, writing my column, Free Sex, has been fun. Here are two entries, one on something I call “desire etiquette” and another on why you should let go of the concept of “forever.”

I also wrote my first piece on music! It’s an interview with a short article – I talk to my friend Chris Leo (brother of Ted Leo, power pop superstar and Aimee Man’s bandmate in The Both) about his 1990s post-punk band, The Van Pelt. That era of music holds a special place for me and the formation of my values and aesthetics, so it was awesome to sit down with Chris and talk about it.

***

More Blog – What Do You Think?

Speaking of venturing out, I’m going to be posting more often on this blog, which means my blog is going to get a little more, um, bloggy. Since I’m selling most of my longer form writing at this point, I want to funnel some of my less refined and more casual thinking into this space. I can’t keep up with the one-post-a-day thing, but since I’m intending to do more here, I’d love to know what you’d like to hear more about? I’m open to any suggestions regarding form or content. Interviews? Images? Musings? Quotes? Tumblr-style curation? Etc.

Comment below or send an email with ideas to connerhabibsocial at gmail

***

Media

I’m featured in the documentary Straight Guys, which is all about gay-for-pay performers. Don’t worry, I’m not straight (and how
dare you think that even for a second!), but I have worked with lots of men who identify as heterosexual. The film also features my pal, porn hotty Bravo Delta, and the gay (“gay”?) studio Chaos Men. Here’s the trailer, which is just a little NSFW.

GQ France gave me a little shout out, which I think is pretty awesome. And that led to me a quick flurry of me appearing in French media. Here’s an extensive review of my work on the French blog, Pop and Films.

Finally, I’m one of 80 interviews in the book, Around the World in 80 Gay Porn Stars. Always nice to be between the covers with 79 other fellas. It’s edited by Jimi Goninan and Paul Travers, and you can buy the ebook here.

***

Events

I’ll be appearing at Catalyst Con in Los Angeles in September as an opening keynote speaker!

Catalyst Con is the country’s big sex-worker/sex-positivity/sex-education/sexual liberation conference. I’m honored to be a part of this event. To register, go to the Catalyst Con site. Then come hang out with me and a bunch of people who know a lot about sex. Sound like fun, doesn’t it? Catalyst Con 2014 is September 11-14. Click here for more info.

If you want to bring me to your school or non-academic organization to speak, click here for more info.

Okay, that’s all for now!

Love,

Tags: activism, media appearances, music, Nerve.com, porn rights, straight porn, updates

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