Archive by Author

The delight of dread and the morality of cruelty. The second episode in the AEWCH series on horror features Nathan Ballingrud & Sara Gran!

15 Aug

LISTEN HERE VIA SOUNDCLOUD OR ON Apple PodcastsSpotifyBreaker

SUPPORT AGAINST EVERYONE WITH CONNER HABIB

Advertisements from sponsors dont fit with the mission of this podcast. So I ask listeners if theyd like to support the show by sharing what they can via patreon. The best way to support this show, my writing, my events & courses, is to give an annual or monthly pledge to  Patreon.com/connerhabib. You can also subscribe to the show and give it a 5-Star writing on Apple Podcasts, as well as buy my novel Hawk Mountain.

When you use patreon, you’re not only supporting me, but accessing an economic model that isn’t about paying people for their labor, and instead showing care and appreciation of who they are.

Friends,
Celebrating the release of my novel Hawk Mountain in paperback, I’ll be talking with creators of my favorite genre, HORROR. There are few genres that have inspired such a furor of regulation, stigma, and anger. Horror is regulated by governments, has been the topic of countless moralistic exams rations and moral panics, has been blamed for disintegrating societies, and more. Horror itself horrifies. And when horror does become accepted, at best it is said by critics to “transcend the genre.” Which means it’s really just transcending the stigma the critics have by re-asserting it. But who am I to talk about beleaguered horror? The fact is, it is also wildly popular. Even a terrible horror movie can be quite popular, and the most consistently bestselling author of all time is a horror writer. What does that mean? Across these episodes, I’ll be talking about horror in its many forms: cosmic horror, body horror, suburban horror, monster horror, possession horror, and more.
The first episode in the series was AEWCH 232, with cosmic horror writer and scholar Matt Cardin.

Partially inspired by the 1990 Horror Cafe on the BBC2 featuring Clive Barker, John Carpenter, Roger Corman, Lisa Tuttle, Ramsay Campbell, and Peter Atkins, we’ll be investigating deep questions about horror together, and seeing what unlit paths they lead us down. What is horror for? Why do we condemn it even as we flock to it? What is the horror-nature of being? What happens when the imagination explores the violence, the darkness, and the screaming in the inner landscape and when we conjure it into art?

You dont have to know much horror or even like horror to follow along with these episodes; each one will reveal a horror of life, of being human.

As a writer of the horrific myself, I wanted to talk with other writers about the inner navigation of wanting to explore and depict and share cruelty, fear, fantastic and upsetting violence. It’s not just that I wanted to talk about the moral navigation of these images – after all, those sorts of images and themes exist in the sacred scriptures that form much of our ideas of morality. I wanted to also talk about the impulse to move into those images, and the differing ways in which authors walk through that inner landscape and figure out what to share and what to leave behind.

Furthermore, how much of what we are depicting is reflective of reality – not just the darkly imagined versions of real-world violence and tragedy, but of the supernatural and the strange?

To talk about this, I asked two masters of the weird and of horror onto the show.

Sara Gran is the author of the horror classic, Come Closer and the erotic occult detective page turner, The Book of the Most Precious Substance.

Nathan Ballingrud is the author of one of the greatest collections of short horror fiction ever, North American Lake Monsters. His most recent book is The Strange, an adventure on Mars that does the remarkable work of balancing science fiction, mystery, Western, and horror.

Both Sara and Nathan write across genres and for multiple mediums – film, TV, audible stories, and of course novels and stories.

We talk about the pleasure of creating horror and of reading it. We also talk about the fact that horror fiction rarely actually scares us, as opposed to horror films – instead it upsets or disturbs us. But when it does frighten us, how does it work?

We talk about the dream logic of the supernatural, and how much of what we depict is reflective of reality – not just the darkly imagined versions of real-world violence and tragedy, but of the supernatural and the strange?

This is a deep and dark episode. I’m so excited to share it with you.

SHOW NOTES

WHAT OTHER EPISODE SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO?
In some ways the first episode in this series is really AEWCH 201, on the Spiritual Life of Horror. Horror offers spiritual insight and can be a doorway to spiritual growth. I hope you’ll listen to and find some meaning there.

WHAT BOOK SHOULD YOU READ?
For an unrelenting horror novel that is not thought of, generally, as a horror novel, I suggest James Purdy’s masterpiece, Narrow Rooms. I read it in one sitting and cast it across the room when I finished, repulsed and so, so thrilled to have found it.

MORE ON NATHAN
Many of the stories in North American Lake Monsters were adapted for the Hulu series, Monsterland. He’s also the author of Wounds: Six Stories from the Border of Hell which contains the story “The Visible Filth” that inspired the film, Wounds, starring Armie Hammer and Dakota Johnson. Here’s Nathan’s website, which is a little out of date as of this post, but still has a lot of great stuff.

MORE ON SARA
Sara is a frequent guest on the show, and her most recent appearance was on AEWCH 200m part in conversation with myself and Una Mullally. You can now preorder a new (beautiful + scary cover!) edition of Come Closer. She has her own publishing company, Dreamland Books. And she is the write of the audio ghost story, Marigold: An Investigation of an American Haunting, read by Zoe Kazan. And she is perhaps best known for her weird detective series featuring the psychoanalytic-meets-magick investigator, Claire Dewitt.

A new series of AEWCH episodes on HORROR kicks off with cosmic horror writer Matt Cardin

8 Aug

LISTEN HERE VIA SOUNDCLOUD OR ON Apple PodcastsSpotifyBreaker

SUPPORT AGAINST EVERYONE WITH CONNER HABIB

Advertisements from sponsors dont fit with the mission of this podcast. So I ask listeners if theyd like to support the show by sharing what they can via patreon. The best way to support this show, my writing, my events & courses, is to give an annual or monthly pledge to  Patreon.com/connerhabib. You can also subscribe to the show and give it a 5-Star writing on Apple Podcasts, as well as buy my novel Hawk Mountain.

When you use patreon, you’re not only supporting me, but accessing an economic model that isn’t about paying people for their labor, and instead showing care and appreciation of who they are.

Friends,
To celebrate the release of Hawk Mountain in paperback, I’m releasing a series of episodes on my favorite genre, HORROR. Hawk Mountain being nominated for the PEN/Faulkner Award was a surprise to me because it is the closest a horror novel has ever come to winning the prestigious award. But that surprise showed me the ways in which I stigmatize my own writing, the ways I fear it will be dismissed out of hand or afterwards for being too upsetting to readers.

In fact, this means that I’m afraid of horror itself. I think we all are. There are few genres that have inspired such a furor of regulation, stigma, and anger (aside from pornography, and pornography may be beyond genre and in fact its own form… more on that some other time).

Horror is regulated by governments, has been the topic of countless moralistic exams rations and moral panics, has been blamed for disintegrating societies, and more. Horror itself horrifies.

And when horror does become accepted, at best it is said by critics to “transcend the genre.” Which means it’s really just transcending the stigma the critics have by re-asserting it.

But who am I to talk about beleaguered horror? The fact is, it is also wildly popular. Even a terrible horror movie can be quite popular, and the most consistently bestselling author of all time is a horror writer. What does that mean?

Across these episodes, I’ll be talking about horror in its many forms: cosmic horror, body horror, suburban horror, monster horror, possession horror, and more; with some of my favorite horror creators and horror thinkers.

We’ll be asking the deep questions and seeing what unlit paths they lead us down. What is horror for? Whay do we condemn it even as we flock to it? What is the horror-nature of being? What happens when the imagination explores the violence, the darkness, and the screaming in the inner landscape and when we conjure it into art?

You don’t have to know much horror or even like horror to follow along with these episodes; each one will reveal a horror of life, of being human. Horror remains the best tool to investigate evil and to overcome it.

To kick off this series, I’ll start with the tension between the horrors of the cosmos and the horrors of the personal, with horror scholar and writer, MATT CARDIN .

Matt first came to my attention via his appearances on the Weird Studies podcast (first on WS 41, then on WS 126), where he spoke with such frightening depth about horror that I knew the horrifying must have, across his life, shocked him into new avenues of being. He’s the author of many books, including the story collection, To Rouse Leviathan and also What the Daemon Said: Essays on Horror Fiction, Film, and Philosophy.

I’m so happy to share this episode, and this series with you.

SHOW NOTES

WHAT OTHER EPISODE SHOULD YOU LISTEN TO?
In some ways the first episode in this series is really AEWCH 201, on the Spiritual Life of Horror. Horror offers spiritual insight and can be a doorway to spiritual growth. I hope you’ll listen to and find some meaning there.

WHAT BOOK SHOULD YOU READ?
Since he comes up so much on this episode, it’s probably best to refer you here to Thomas Ligotti. A selection of his work is most readily available as Songs of a Dead Dreamer and Grimscirbe (which has an intro by Annihilation author Jeff Vandermeer!) Since it’s not in that colection, but we talk about it on the show, you can read Ligotti’s “The Red Tower” here.

MORE ON MATT
Matt’s website, which has tons of stuff to get into is here. is also the author and editor of many other books, including Dark Awakenings and the unfortunately hard-to-find Born To Fear: Interviews with Thomas Ligotti.

How to identify true spiritual paths vs false ones, on AEWCH 231.

2 Aug

Apple PodcastsSpotifyBreaker

SUPPORT AGAINST EVERYONE WITH CONNER HABIB

Advertisements from sponsors don’t fit with the mission of this podcast. So I ask listeners if they’d like to support the show by sharing what they can via patreon. The best way to support this show, my writing, my events & courses, is to give an annual or monthly pledge to  Patreon.com/connerhabib. You can also subscribe to the show and give it a 5-Star writing on Apple Podcasts, as well as buy my novel Hawk Mountain.

When you use patreon, you’re not only supporting me, but accessing an economic model that isn’t about paying people for their labor, and instead showing care and appreciation of who they are.

Friends,
We are in dire need of real spiritual paths to guide us through the challenges we’re facing now. But in the flood of spiritual information, it is difficult to sort out which ones are true and which ones are false.

Furthermore, there are plenty of spiritual influencers making content that amounts to little more than “spiritual” dross cast over “edgy” political views. These influencers pretend that the political views arise out of the spiritual encounters they’ve had, but the truth is they are simply making spirituality subservient to their preformed politics.

On this episode, I try my best to separate the wheat from the chaff. I look at false spiritual paths, mostly promulgated by what I call The Bad Friend, and the forms the Bad Friend uses, including:

  • Reducing spirituality to function
  • The health influencer
  • Materialist techniques (magick and entheogens)
  • Fractalnoia and conspiracy theories
  • Schematic approaches
  • The subject supposed to know
  • Prophet-eering
  • “ancient” wisdom
  • confusing self-development with spiritual development

And I offer forms on true spiritual paths.

This is a deep episode, and I hope it helps.

Love,
CH

How to STOP catastrophizing and START changing yourself and the world – Una Mullally on AEWCH 230

25 Jul

LISTEN HERE VIA SOUNDCLOUD OR ON Apple PodcastsSpotifyBreaker

SUPPORT AGAINST EVERYONE WITH CONNER HABIB

Advertisements from sponsors dont fit with the mission of this podcast. So I ask listeners if theyd like to support the show by sharing what they can via patreon. The best way to support this show, my writing, my events & courses, is to give an annual or monthly pledge to  Patreon.com/connerhabib. You can also subscribe to the show and give it a 5-Star writing on Apple Podcasts, as well as buy my novel Hawk Mountain.

When you use patreon, you’re not only supporting me, but accessing an economic model that isn’t about paying people for their labor, and instead showing care and appreciation of who they are.

Friends, Are you seeing a terrible future ahead? So many of us are catastrophising – a gesture that has become exacerbated in the post-pandemic landscape. When we have a fear, rather than allowing it to rise and fall in time, it consumes more time than it should, it becomes a fantasy of the future.

We come up with scenarios in which something we thought could be stable is now laid to waste. Whether you do this by catastrophising the environment, imagining landmasses underwater, feeling a tightness over your thoughts of fascism overrunning all governments, or seeing your own beloved social movements fall to pieces…

or maybe it’s more personal? You feel a pain that you begin to conceive of as a terminal disease; your partner’s phone binging with texts signals cheating, lies, and the end of the relationship; you notice your social media posts aren’t getting likes which must mean no one is interested in what you have to share anymore.

In all of these motions, we create an image of the future and feel its resonance in the present. Catastrophising can be paralyzing, terrible, and it doesn’t help that we’re all preyed upon by various catastrophe industries, not to mention the fact that we are facing real challenges!

To talk us away from catastrophe and towards a healthier world, I asked my friend Una Mullally on to the show. Una is my closest collaborator in Ireland and has been on the show multiple times, most recently in conversation with me and author Sara Gran on AEWCH 200, pt 2.

We talk about catastrophe first, and then take apart four of the biggest challenges of our time:

  • fascism
  • climate change
  • AI
  • “groomer” moral panics

considering how we might see them differently.

This is a transformative conversation. I hope it reinvigorates your knowledge that you can change things.

SHOW NOTES

WHAT OTHER AEWCH EPISODE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO?
AEWCH 83 with Franco “Bifo” Berardi on how to breathe in an apocalypse – which we recorded in Bologna just a few months before the pandemic began. It is one of my very favorite episodes.

WHAT BOOK SHOULD YOU READ?
I think, to go along with AEWCH 83, a great book to prefigure our moment is Bifo’s Breathing: Chaos and Poetry.

MORE ON UNA
Una has a weekly, challenging, column in the Irish Times. Some of Una’a other great appearances on AEWCH include AEWCH 151 on how the world is changing (slowly!) for the better, and AEWCH 192 which featured us speaking about my novel Hawk Mountain and fiction more broadly.

Against academia: Why we can’t reform universities and what a world without “education” could look like, with Eli Meyerhoff on AEWCH 229

18 Jul

LISTEN HERE VIA SOUNDCLOUD OR ON Apple PodcastsSpotifyBreaker

SUPPORT AGAINST EVERYONE WITH CONNER HABIB

Advertisements from sponsors dont fit with the mission of AEWCH. So I ask listeners if theyd like to support the show by sharing what they can via patreon. The best way to support this show, my writing, my events & courses, is to give an annual or monthly pledge to  Patreon.com/connerhabib. You can also subscribe to the show and give it a 5-Star writing on Apple Podcasts, as well as buy my novel Hawk Mountain.

When you use patreon, you’re not only supporting me, but accessing an economic model that isn’t about paying people for their labor, and instead showing care and appreciation of who they are.

Friends,
We all long to develop, to learn, to deepen our encounter with the world, or at least to seek new experiences of it.

So why are the spaces we go to for learning so terrible? Not only are they often tremendous drains on money (for individuals and families in the US and for all citizens in Europe and other places where universities are state-funded).

After attending several higher education institutions, I’ve come to understanding how much they stand in the way of us truly learning, developing our capacities, and creating a better world.

So I asked Eli Meyerhoff on to the show to talk about this conundrum.

Eli is researching at the Social Movements Lab and works as an organizer, he’s also the author of Beyond Education: Radical Studying for Another World , an excoriating look at how academia has always exploited people, and is past the point of mere reform.

This is a radical look at education – so often held as a self-evident good. I’m so happy to share it with you.

SHOW NOTES

WHAT OTHER AEWCH EPISODE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO? An academic who is doing work I am excited for – that at once starts in a university context and leads out of it – is Phil Ford. art of the Weird Studies team, along with J.F. Martel, who works in alternative education models as well

WHAT BOOK SHOULD YOU READ? I bring up the essay “Walking out on the University” by William Irwin Thompson a few times. That essay is in a book that is difficult to find, but an easier text to find by the same author is Transforming History: A New Curriculum for a Planetary Culture. While it still has some attachments to the current system of education, it proposes a new direction for it, and a new curriculum. (BTW, I found a copy of the essay with the help of Jeremy Johnson, and his efforts are worth checking out.)

MORE ON ELI Eli’s website is very straightforward, with tons of links to interviews and other contributions… including a free download of his book! And here’s Eli’s essay – cowritten with Abigail Boggs, Nick Mitchell, and Zach Schwartz-Weinstein – that I quote at the top of the show, “Abolitionist University Studies: An Invitation“. Also, see the chart, co-created with Eli below, “A Non-Exhaustive Periodization of U.S. Universities from an Accumulation Perspective”

Seeing the world through the kaleidoscope of anarchism with Scott Branson on AEWCH 228!

11 Jul

LISTEN HERE VIA SOUNDCLOUD OR ON Apple PodcastsSpotifyBreaker Anchor

SUPPORT AGAINST EVERYONE WITH CONNER HABIB

Advertisements from sponsors dont fit with the mission of AEWCH. So I ask listeners if theyd like to support the show by sharing what they can via patreon. The best way to support this show, my writing, my events & courses, is to give an annual or monthly pledge to  Patreon.com/connerhabib. You can also subscribe to the show and give it a 5-Star writing on Apple Podcasts, as well as buy my novel Hawk Mountain.

When you use patreon, you’re not only supporting me, but accessing an economic model that isn’t about paying people for their labor, and instead showing care and appreciation of who they are.

Friends,

Not only is a new world possible, but it’s happening, now. Can you feel it? The way it’s being built is by people meeting with their neighbors; talking about structures and systems; taking action in everyday life, as well as in the political realm; supporting each other through love; imagining beyond limits we thought were fixed; abolishing abusive institutions and punitive processes; and more. These movements of mutual aid, ethical individualism, and anarchism have no “leaders,” but they do have articulate participants, and one of my favorites is SCOTT BRANSON.

Scott is an organizer, the co-host of the Final Straw Radio podcast, and the author of Practical Anarchism: A Guide for Daily Life, which is clear, easy to read, and fun. They’re also the co-editor of Surviving the Future: Abolitionist Queer Strategies.

They’re also someone I could talk with forever about every facet of the world that could be changed by imagination, compassion, and real freedom.

We talk:

  • how anarchism can recreate the entirety of reality
  • anarchism vs Marxism
  • the right wing seizing leftist tactics
  • conspiracy vs real analysis
  • is anarchism moralism?
  • whether or not you can have anarchism without spirituality

This is one of those episodes that goes across many landscapes, but always past the surface. I’m so happy to share it with you.

SHOW NOTES

WHAT OTHER AEWCH EPISODE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO?
On AEWCH 143, I talked with theorist, writer, and educator Srećko Horvat about changing our approach to the world entirely, right down to how we encounter time and space. And the “break up” theory Scott uses is in alignment with my own thoughts on the show, from AEWCH 132 – which was a repost of AEWCH 9.

WHAT BOOK SHOULD YOU READ?
A great book on creating and dissolving tactics, and how society forms around brilliant new imaginings and failed revolutions, is Assembly by Michael Hardt and Antonio Negri. (I also talked about this book with Michael Hardt on AEWCH 120)

MORE ON SCOTT
Scott’s website, which has links to plenty of articles and appearances is here. Scott is also the translator of Guy Hocquenghem’s Gay Liberation after May ’68 as well as Lesage deLa Haye’s The Abolition of Prison.

Are murderers monsters? A conversation with Mark O’Connell on AEWCH 227

4 Jul

LISTEN HERE VIA SOUNDCLOUD OR ON Apple PodcastsSpotifyBreaker Anchor

SUPPORT AGAINST EVERYONE WITH CONNER HABIB

Advertisements from sponsors dont fit with the mission of AEWCH. So I ask listeners if theyd like to support the show by sharing what they can via patreon. The best way to support this show, my writing, my events & courses, is to give an annual or monthly pledge to  Patreon.com/connerhabib. You can also subscribe to the show and give it a 5-Star writing on Apple Podcasts, as well as buy my novel Hawk Mountain.

When you use patreon, you’re not only supporting me, but accessing an economic model that isn’t about paying people for their labor, and instead showing care and appreciation of who they are.

Friends,

As someone who writes quite a bit about violence, I wonder why our imaginations bend towards it. More specifically, the contours of murder. Murder is at once melodramatic, preposterous, horrifying, and cruel.

And murderers? The most common approach to murderers is that they are monsters. But is this idea just an attempt to divest ourselves and distance ourselves from the possibility that we are capable of it?

And yet, we are all connected to murder, whether we’re in the military or related to someone who is, whether we ignore policies of desk killers or have an awareness of the death and destruction connected to our everyday consumer choices.

To think through this, I invited Mark O’Connell onto the show. Mark’s latest book, A Thread of Violence: A Story of Truth, Invention, and Murder investigates two murders in Ireland via conversations with the murderer, Malcolm MacCarthur.

Mark’s obsession with the murders as a child followed him into adulthood, as he became a scholar studying the fictional works of the great Irish writer John Banville, particularly Banville’s novel The Book of Evidence.

But Mark, like so many of us, found us still mulling over a story of violence. Which led him, eventually, to sitting down for extended periods of time with the man at the center of the violent crimes. What did he learn about murder and our fascination with it?

Mark is one of the best chroniclers and observers of the currents of the world. And he’s been on the show multiple times. Most recently in conversation with me and Peter Rollins on AEWCH 200 (pt 2), with me and Caitlin Doughty about horror on AEWCH 194, and his first appearance – on which we talked about the apocalypse just as the pandemic was starting – on AEWCH 105.

His two other books also feature difficult people: doomsday preppers in Notes from an Apocalypse: A Personal Journey to the End of the World and Back and transhumanists in To Be a Machine: Adventures Among Cyborgs, Utopians, Hackers, and the Futurists Solving the Modest Problem of Death.

I’m so excited to share this episode with you.

SHOW NOTES

WHAT OTHER AEWCH EPISODE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO?
AEWCH 162 is one of my very favorite episodes. On it, I talk with Dr. Gwen Adshead. Gwen is a forensic psychiatrist and co-author of The Devil You Know: Stories of Human Cruelty and Compassion and speaks with violent offenders in her daily work. The book is a compliment to Mark’s book, and I know the episode even had an effect on Mark as he was writing A Thread...

WHAT BOOK SHOULD YOU READ?
Another truly great nonfiction book about murder is Emmanuel Carrere’s The Adversary: A True Story of Monstrous Deception. Aside from that, so much of my understanding of violence – at least understanding I’ve gotten from reading – comes from fiction. Some of the best fiction about murderers, violent offenders, and their victims are by Joyce Carol Oates. One I have in mind, “The Girl with the Blackened Eye” is in her collection, I Am No One You Know.

MORE ON MARK
Mark’s website is here, though admittedly sparse. You can also check out his excellent essay on the relevance of JG Ballard. And here’s a great interview with Mark on Utopian Horizons. And here’s a short interview with Mark about A Thread… at Slate.

You don’t need to be initiated.

23 Jun

UP FROM RUINS begins on JULY 1. SIGN UP/GET DETAILS HERE.

In conjunction with the many insights I’m getting as I ready for my online course UP FROM RUINS , particularly in relation to destiny, I’ve decided to offer some of it up as blog posts. The first one, on economy, money, and destiny, is here. A post on three bad concepts of destiny is here. And I consider the question, “Does everything happen for a reason?” in the light of Destiny here.

Friends,

What does it mean to be initiated?

Many of the old paths of spiritual initiation included rites to activate potential initiates so they could participate in the spiritual reality of their own lives, of society, and of the world.

These rites are famously unpleasant, and many of them simulated death experiences, such as sensory deprivation, temporary burial, hallucination, great states of pain, starvation, and more.

It doesn’t take much searching to find variations of these rites sold by spiritual and self-help influencers today. Maybe you’ve bought one or more of them:

  • An ayahuasca retreat with a “real” shaman
  • Taking an extreme sports challenge like Tough Mudder, etc
  • Following books that tell you how to do mushrooms while in sensory deprivation
  • Engaging in elaborate ceremonial magick rituals
  • Heading to a wellness retreat where you “cleanse” yourself
  • A Buddhist extended silence and meditation retreat
  • Taking a masculine/feminine energy workshop (often involving kambo or some other mind-altering substance coupled with sex)

Obviously, these are just a few examples. Initiation rites – wherein the old self is peeled away or obliterated so that the new self may begin – are now a part of popular culture.

The idea pulsing in all marketable forms of initiation, as well as the old ways of secret societies, is that if you can contain the transformative experience by ritualizing it, you can guide someone into a new way of being without killing them.

As for the attendant teachers and coaches of said initiations, they may or may not have their shit together. But they will definitely project some form of wisdom either way.

And that includes the people who tell stories about those teachers, too. The narrative of exploitative initiation has been thoroughly popularized by writers and producers who present a “reality-check” about the process. The warning against initiation usually goes something like this:

“Life is random and painful and everyone is messed up, there is no secret way out! The spiritual teachers are just fucked up and broken in a charismatic way!”

And these claims are bolstered by psychoanalysis and therapy. The therapist and the writer and the producer, of course, ignore the fact that they themselves are posing as the ones who know the ACTUAL truth, and also ignoring the consequences of their own truth-proffering.

So… Is initiation possible (or desirable) through the methods above? Can anyone teach us how to be initiated?

The answer to both questions is no.

We have to admit that since initiation has been mainstreamed, its ritualized usefulness and effectiveness have been diminished.

Far from the integral studies, new age, and modern shamanist cries that we’ve lost touch with initiation and need these rituals to heal the woes of our time and our lives, the truth is, we couldn’t be more in touch with initiation rites.

We do not need more initiation rites.
We need, instead, to discard the ritualization of initiation all together.

I’ll talk more about this in the course, but let me hit on a few points here.

Since the secrets of the occult were revealed and popularized in dominant culture – by hugely influential spiritual and artistic figures like Rudolf Steiner, Aleister Crowley, Madame Blavatsky, Wassily Kandinsky – initiation has entered into mass consciousness.

In the back of our minds, we know that fully transformative experiences are available to us now, now, and now again. Because this fact is with us, it is in our consciousness. This marks a change from before, when we expected only a few to have access via society or divine selection.

This means large part of what initiation is – the knowledge we all have that there are truths and desires within ourselves, others, and the cosmos, that can change us entirely – has already been accomplished. To put it another way, a part of the collectively uninitiated self has already died.

In the quote at the top of this post, from anti-fascist christian magician Franz Bardon, we see a different picture of initiation.

Initiation is something that is happening to us all the time, at every moment. Sometimes it happens through practice, but other times it happens through what Bardon calls fate. I refer to it as Destiny.

That means  every moment of our lives pulses with opportunity to see or not see every moment’s depths. And that the more we look at everyday life with the initiation consciousness, the more we will have access to the wisdom of an initiate. Each approach to our own lives in earnest deepens our capacity to receive wisdom.

So:

Can you think of a time you’ve been initiated?

It could be a huge event. For instance, a painful experienced that we know transformed us, like when I was assaulted by my ex-boyfriend.

Or it could be a small event that later was viewed as a footfall on the right path; maybe you decided to get coffee, and in the coffee shop you saw the person you ended up being in a relationship with.

The past joins us in the present to help understand the profundity of life. Put more, uh, occult-ish-ly, the living being of Time, emerges to give us perspective and wisdom. Sometimes, with this helper, we can see that events happened for a reason.

But because every moment in our lives represents the opportunity for freedom, everything that has not been reconfigured as having happened for a reason has still happened for us.

Using this model, we can see the world as our Mystery School, and our own lives as the sacred texts to be read.

The reason why ayahuasca retreats, wellness rituals, and feats of  physical/mental endurance prescribed by spiritual influencers generally don’t have a lasting effect is because they are polluted by lesson-ness and teacher-ness.

I’m sure this will sound familiar to you:
You do some potent spiritual ritual, only to find its effects disappearing later. Where did they go?

Participants of initiation rituals are sucked into a spiritual state, and when they come down, still feel that they have a piece of it. But they find that they do not have spiritual substance in their hands.

This is the message of the folk tale in which a traveller to the fairy realm is given gold only to find, upon returning home, that it’s all turned to crumbs in his pockets.

Furthermore, because that state seemed so special, it often causes the participant to think that the rest of life is not initiation constantly in progress, offered to us by the arc of Destiny.

No ritual will be as profound as your life.

No one can offer you initiation. It’s already happened.

There’s a lot more to say and plenty of holes in the picture I’ve presented above. So let’s work on this together in Up from Ruins, starting Saturday, July 1.

*

UP FROM RUINS:
USING DESTINY-WORK TO CONNECT SELF-DEVELOPMENT & WORLD CHALLENGES

  • Exclusive new offering UP FROM RUINS: USING DESTINY-WORK TO CONNECT SELF DEVELOPMENT WITH WORLD CHALLENGES, 90 minutes, streaming on July 1, available as a recording July 2
  • Live call on July 9 available as recording on July 10
  • LIMITED option for one-on-one Destiny-work meeting
  • Resource list for all participants featuring readings, exercises, links to
  • investigate deeper, poetry, a playlist, and more.

Lecture/Live chat/Resource list/playlist tickets
available until 11:59 PM PST on June 30

As of this post, there are TWO SPOTS left for one-on-one tickets. If the option is still available, the button is up.

Streaming lecture July 1 (2PM EST)

Recorded lecture posts July 2

Live call July 9 (12 noon EST)

One-on-one leadership work scheduled individually

SIGN UP HERE TODAY

or for more info, click here.

What does it mean to be spiritually successful?

20 Jun

LISTEN HERE VIA SOUNDCLOUD OR ON Apple PodcastsSpotifyBreaker Anchor

SUPPORT AGAINST EVERYONE WITH CONNER HABIB

Advertisements from sponsors dont fit with the mission of AEWCH. So I ask listeners if theyd like to support the show by sharing what they can via patreon. The best way to support this show, my writing, my events & courses, is to give an annual or monthly pledge to  Patreon.com/connerhabib. You can also subscribe to the show and give it a 5-Star writing on Apple Podcasts, as well as buy my novel Hawk Mountain.

When you use patreon, you’re not only supporting me, but accessing an economic model that isn’t about paying people for their labor, and instead showing care and appreciation of who they are.

Friends, In the first episode that’s not directly about esoteric christianity for awhile, I wanted to talk about…God!

Okay, not exactly. This is about being in integrity in your life and finding that spiritual anchor.

When we try to succeed in our careers, families, creative goals, and more, we end up in such a flurry that we lose our own stability – the only real stability – in self, integrity, spirit. As a result, our lives become fragmented, disjointed, and resist each other.

How do focus on our spiritual lives to get the other aspects of our lives right, or at least make sure these aspects of being aren’t in constant conflict with each other?

To discuss this, I asked co-host of The Minimalists podcast T.K. Coleman onto the show. T.K. is the spiritually reflective voice of The Minimalists; and whenever he speaks on the show, I settle into his insights.

How do we strengthen or connection to our spiritual integrity while at the same time developing our professional lives and goals?

This is such a rich conversation; I’m so happy to share it with you.

SHOW NOTES

WHAT OTHER AEWCH EPISODE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO?
It’s not been so long since I spoke with T.K.’s co-Minimalist, Joshua Fields Milburn on AEWCH 216. But the episode is so complimentary to this one that I’m sharing it again here.

And if you want my thoughts on the thumb/astronaut thing I mention in the episode, I talked about it at length way back on AEWCH 5. It’s only available as a video ep, but it’s still there!

WHAT BOOK SHOULD YOU READ?
German mystic Meister Eckhart is a contemplator of everything and nothingness, of removing what’s in the way and seeing the truth. His Selected Writings are wonderful journey in integrity.

MORE ON T.K.
T.K.’s public work is mostly available via the The Minimalists. Their website has soooo much on it offered as free resources – is here. And The Minimalists patreon is here. Finally, here’s an interview with T.K. on converting to Catholicism.

Does everything happen for a reason?

18 Jun

In conjunction with the many insights I’m getting as I ready for my online course UP FROM RUINS , particularly in relation to destiny, I’ve decided to offer some of it up as blog posts. The first one, on economy, money, and destiny, is for patreon patrons only, but if you’re not a patron, you can sign up to read it here. The second appeared on this site, HOW DESTINY DOESN’T WORK: THREE BAD IDEAS ABOUT DESTINY.

Friends, a basic and common question about life is really a destiny question:

How do I know if I’m on the right path?

For much of our lives, our feeling orients us to our path. It’s process that is not unlike eating: We form direction from what tastes good and what doesn’t. Like food that gets chewed up and digested and longed for again, or food that gets spat out and refused in the future; our taste forms the path. We believe we’re on the right path because life feels good, or off it because life feels bad.

Most people who don’t develop ambition stay at this base level of being guided. This isn’t a comment on the value of ambition or lack of ambition, but just an observation of the guidance system. Life is right when it feels right, not right when it doesn’t.

As ambition develops, a different relationship to time develops, too. A picture of the hoped-for future emerges in connection with how we view our past. Rather than just making our way through life, we start to perceive that there may be way to something/somewhere/some goal we want. 

This experience of time means that career paths, family paths, artistic paths, and more, turn life into more than taste. Our feeling becomes tempered with thoughts in a different way. We encounter states of expectation, images of stability, a sense of responsibility to others, and an eye for progress. This is particularly true if you’re spiritually inclined (and if you’re reading this, you probably are). 

Let me just say this in the most basic way possible: when you move from mere taste-making to goal-setting, on your path, you meet the challenge of things not going your way. Duh! So now what?

Up comes the self help and new age mantra that is so popular now that it’s a mainstreamed cliche:

“Everything happens for a reason!”

It’s so widespread that it’s virtually void of weight at this point. And it’s easy prey for skeptics, critics, and cynics: Isn’t meaning-making just an attempt to create solace by tacking on the illusion of coherence?

But what is really meant by “everything happens for a reason” – when self helpers declare it and when skeptics attack it – is that the bad stuff happens for a reason. 

The same critics who dismiss the “reason” trope aren’t so quick to say that good stuff happens for no reason, are they? 

No, when good stuff happens, it’s often attributed to effort and hard work.

Achievement – like becoming a popular skeptic! – is something to be proud of. No “reason” needed there for the self helpers, either; why give to God what you can proudly blog about?

Of course, spiritually- and intellectually-inclined people will draw from seemingly deeper wells to avoid seeming incoherent or boastful.

Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the Chinese farmer.

Here it is, told by Alan Watts:

It’s difficult to not love Alan Watts; he’s like an Oscar Wilde for people who don’t want their spiritual wit proximal to anal sex. 

But does this story usefully meet us where we’re at today?
If it’s neither good or bad to be violently thrown from a horse, then what could possibly give us direction?

The same story, told from an opposite direction, looks like an erotic terror novel by French philosopher and writer Georges Bataille. His novels Story of the Eyeand the even more deliriously excessiveBlue of Noon  present characters who have “managed, with no respect for conventional pigeonholes, to eliminate every possible urge…”

Instead of things just happening to people on the roller coaster of connected events, life appears in Bataille’s novels to be a series of events driven by desires. Characters go in search of fulfilling every appetite. This includes necrophilia, violence, mutilation, eroticizing war, and more. Anything that gets in the way is seen as a willed consequence of choice.

Why wait for dramatic stuff to happen to you when you can run to it yourself? 

In the case of the Chinese farmer, the “process of nature” holds you in a daily anxiety-inducing sway. In Bataille’s novels, immersion into desire gives the illusion of of choosing the sway.

So! The zen guru can convince himself he’s virtuous because he accepts suffering, the libertine can convince herself she’s in control because she experiences pleasure.

I want to note here that though these two options – Watts’s and Bataille’s – may seem foreign to you, they are probably closer than you think. Here are some other versions of them:

  • Mindfulness: the embrace of suffering by focusing on the world as a series of neutral sensations, even if they suck. 
  • Cognitive-behavioral-therapizing suffering away to feel good, or microdosing them into a soft acceptable fuzz. 
  • Manifesting the things that give you pleasure, and if something or someone gets in the way getting them/it out of the way.
  • Going to psychoanalysis to accept the absence of ever being truly fulfilled in the roller coaster of life. 
  • Reading continental philosophers like Deleuze & Guattari to validate the experience of life as one full of momentarily fulfilling disjointed pleasure experiences, connected by hidden desire. 

And so on. Okay, okay, I’m obviously, egregiously, simplifying the above. But I’m also tired of each position and its opposition being hailed as endlessly complex when they’ve merely been complicated by academic thinkers. The underlying choice is mostly dualistic and ultimately absurd:

Suffering or pleasure – which one do you want to see as happening for a reason?

Destiny, and especially what I call Destiny-work offer a different picture that includes both suffering and pleasure without reducing them the Chinese farmer story or the Bataille novel.

An easy(ish!) way to express this is by looking at the life development of plants. Plants give us a picture that tells us about growth, rhythm, and change, without being so personalized that they create intense feelings off the bat. (As my mentor the biologist/geoscientist Lynn Margulis used to say, “the closer to humans science is, the worse the evidence gets.”)

The wild radish leaves below grow at differing stages of the radish’s development.

Describing this photo, biologist Craig Holdredge writes, “All the leaves from the main stem of a wild radish…The first leaves develop at the bottom of the plant… the small leaf (at the right end of the row) is the uppermost leaf and the last one to develop; it precedes the first flower.”

If you were only to look at the radish at a moment in time, you wouldn’t see all of its leaves, and the leaves are, in some cases, very differently shaped. And they grow at different times within the radish’s life cycle. And of course, even when the final leaf is there, the flower has not yet appeared. Furthermore, after the flower does appear there is still more to the radish’s life. New versions of “radish” appear in the cycle, and even its withering death is itself a differing form.

This means that you cannot actually see the “real” plant if you just look at it in a fixed moment in time. 

This is no mere metaphor.

The principle for humans is the same:

We cannot know the truth of our incarnation and our destinies because the truth is only revealed in its fullness. In other words, when the incarnation ends. The arc of Destiny is one that happens across a lifetime. We can’t see it because by the time it expresses itself, we’ve crossed into death. 

That means:

Whether or not everything happens for a reason is a diversion from a deeper truth: that Destiny is expressing itself with us.

Instead of taking Alan Watts’s lesson, the psychoanalyst’s lesson, the mindfulness lesson to embrace suffering and discomfort
or
taking Bataille’s lesson, CBT’s lesson, or the manifester’s lesson to create/clear a pathway of pleasure;
we could instead understand that destiny is happening to us, taking form through our lives, with us.

The real meaning is fully expressed and accessible if we focus on what Destiny is. This would mean engaging with Destiny-work. How do we get in touch with what it means to be human, both growing into life and holding the promise of our deaths? 

When we do Destiny-work, suffering and pleasure both absorb light, water and nutrients, as we expand upward and downward. Nothing happens for a reason, all reasons converge in us.

More confused now than you were before? Alan Watts would probably laugh and say, “good!” Instead of doing that, I’m offering a course.

*

I’ll be exploring all of this and more in my online course, live call, and one-on-one offering:

UP FROM RUINS:
USING DESTINY-WORK TO CONNECT SELF-DEVELOPMENT & WORLD CHALLENGES

  •  Exclusive new offering UP FROM RUINS: USING DESTINY-WORK TO CONNECT SELF DEVELOPMENT WITH WORLD CHALLENGES, 90 minutes, streaming on July 1, available as a recording July 2
  •  Live call on July 9 available as recording on July 10
  •  LIMITED option for one-on-one Destiny-work meeting
  •  Resource list for all participants featuring readings, exercises, links to
  • investigate deeper, poetry, a playlist, and more.

DOORS OPEN to patreon patrons June 8 and to everyone else June 11.

Portal for one-one-one work closes JUNE 19 (or earlier if holding capacity is reached)

Streaming lecture July 1 (2PM EST)

Recorded lecture posts July 2

Live call July 9 (12 noon EST)

One-on-one leadership work scheduled individually

SIGN UP HERE TODAY

or for more info, click here.